This week I decided to clean up my room that's been in shambles since I moved back to NY from Jersey (Yes, I am that lazy that it's taken me THIS long to start to clean shit up). Anyway, I stumbled upon some interesting stuff. Top of the list is a Derek Jeter rookie card I found in titty mint condition. Other shit, that I can deal parting with, I'm throwing up on ebay.
Anyway, I found some old "art" from my last 2 years of high school. Basically art requirements are nonsense like sculpture, photography, and my senior year was the first year they offered graphic design. I think all but one of the sculpture pieces I did got smashed in some drunken baboonery involving my friends and I. I convinced TJ to take pottery with me cause the school forced him to take an art class because he had too many free periods in 11th grade. He hated me for it, but we had some laughs. I also recall having problems with some over weight wanna be ghetto asian girl who looked like she ate Godzilla. Not that I so much had problems with her as that she would call me a satanist at any given moment and go off on me about how I was going to hell (apparently all you had to have was black hair and a Danzig t-shirt to be called a Satanist non-stop back in those days... I don't think much has changed, but whatever).
That is ONE thing I made in sculpture class (to the right) I think was stable enough to be tossed around like the town whore and didn't break due to stupidity. What is it? I have no fucking clue. I just started chiseling at it until I realized I was shaping a head... then from there I made some mongoloid shaped humanoid out of the damn thing. My teacher thought I meant for it to be of Elephant Man proportions.
Photography was a joke to me too. It involved me and a large group of my friends spending the entire class throwing shit at each other's heads in the dark room and making up excuses that we were cutting class to go "explore the world through our lenses". I would sarcastically take pictures of the corners of my room and angle them all weird cause I thought all that photography was, was a bunch of retards taking weird angles of every day shit (ironically, the sarcastic shots I took were always the ones that got put on display in the school galleries). Basically I took photography class to get free film (remember that shit?) so that I didn't have to pay for it when I'd go to take pictures at shows. I still have some of the prints lying around here in a binder too (which reminds me, I need to find my box of photos from concerts. I better have not forgot it in Jersey, cause lord knows I'll never see them again if that's the case).
Here's a shot from the pit at a Mister Monster show from either a show in December of 2000 or January of 2001. This was put on display for some reason in a gallery by my school (obviously I didn't even take the picture and I don't know how I got away with claiming this shot as my own work). You can see how messy and unkempt my hair was after I butchered it all off. Besides my nappy ass hair, the shot includes J~Sin's arm putting the mic into the crowd for the sing-a-long part of the song Resident Evil. There's Riz to the right (all I remember about that kid was he wanted to be the bassist of Mister Monster and he lived down the street from Steve Zing). To the right of my face is Ox's head, and also, I believe that's Germs' nose between Riz and Ox's heads. The shot was from a show at this place that weeks before we went there, unaware I'd be coming back there a few weeks later, me, Dennis and George drove by the place as I mooned the entire line outside the club one night when we were bored as shit and decided to just go joy riding around Manhattan. I think the main reason we did so was cause we went in the Ford Expedition his family got right around the time that SUV first came out and was the hot shit on the streets. Obviously we were feeling QUITE baller that night. Baller enough for me to expose my bulbous, pasty white ass to a crowd of unsuspecting strangers. Thank God nothing horrible happened.
Another shot I found was a self portrait that had my friends laughing their asses off when I developed it. Too bad I sucked at developing pictures and this one came out too light... or proves that I need to put some color in my skin.
I call this one "Duh", or possibly, "dur". Some fruit cake I ended up getting into altercations with tried making a fake guitar pedal called the "goth blood pedal" or something equally retarded in name, and used this photo as the logo... I hope that kid gets run over by a steam roller, where ever his waste of life has taken him.Graphic Design was another class I'd fuck around in. My teacher hated me. Well, maybe not me, but my taste in humor and art. I can't find the picture, but I recall we had to free-hand draw something, scan it, and then enhance it with photoshop by outlining it and then coloring it in. I drew Jason Vorhees dripping in blood and wielding a machete. She yelled at me to not make him so violent. I sarcastically asked her "would you prefer I have him holding a bouquet of posies?" She just gave me a dirty look and told me to fix it up or she'd give me an F, so I just erased the machete all together. Fucking censorship.
But yea, here's some ones I did find mildly entertaining:
I think this assignment was to make a movie poster and cast our own cast. I chose to make the Spawn movie and have Tiger Woods in the lead role. It could have been great... or of devastating levels equal to that of Tommy Wiseau's The Room.
This one was that we had to design a trading card package. I made Wolverine trading cards, "Only $1.50 Bub"
The backside, that is upside down in this scan, said:
"Legal mumbo jumbo: Wolverine and anything in his image is (c)opyrighted to Marvel Entertainment Inc.
RAMY(tm) and Ramy Card Company Inc. are not really (c)opyrighted... But you could imagine."
The barcode also had some comic nerd references for the code atop the bars, but I doubt anyone cares THAT much.
Here, we were asked to design a CD booklet and back cover. Here's the cover and the page you'd see when you opened the CD case. I designed a Mister Monster live album. All I did was take screen shots from the original and 1990's remake of the Night of the Living Dead movies and slap on some photos of Mister Monster live from some dump bar called Desmond's that was downtown. All I remember about that bar was it was packed with dudes in suits getting drunk and singing along, off-key to Nirvana songs (if that's even possible to sing off key) which would clear out once all the goth and death rock kids would show up to see the horror rock bands play.
...my teacher wasn't too pleased that every other photo included someone covered in blood or a zombie devouring someone (wait, EVERY page included the previous mentioned statement).
And yea, that's about some of the last times I ever attempted to show my artistic spirit to the public any more.
