The Story of Duke

Hi, my name is Duke. Ramy doesn't like me cause I'm Duke. He will probably set me on fire, piss on me and fire a loaded gun at me (not in that particular order). Why? Cause Ramy probably has deep seeded Rhasta Jah beliefs he doesn't even know about and thinks I'm a faggot and a gay. the Rhastas stone gays, you know. The fact Channing Tatum played me in the Rise of Cobra doesn't help my case since Ramy thinks he's a tip-toe dancing fairy. Why would Ramy even buy me if he hates me so much? Well, I came with Cobra Commander, see. (I think Ramy is a little faygala for Cobra Commander like he is for the Joker if you ask me). Becuase I had to be stuck together in a package with this deformed, masked freak, I am probably going to end up as a melted piece of plastic that will be thrown on the neighbors lawn that he hates (from what I gather, that's every person on the block he lives on... no matter what state he moves to). What pisses me off is I heard him say he's gonna buy my ex-girlfriend in the movie, Baroness, and use her as "target practice", but I don't think he's talking about target practice with the gun fire bullets out of but... well, yea... lets just say I am not fond that my ex girlfriend is gonna be showered with semen anytime soon.

God, living with this asshole is horrible. He comes home from work and passes out for hours. Then, if he actually wakes up, he goes and gets drunk and then steps on me and other shit and yells nonsense. Last night I saw him knock over a bunch of things on purspose yelling obcenities until he passed out watching caroons. God, do you know what awful shit they play on cartoon network at odd hours of the night? Yea, he doesn't know cause he was drunk and mumbling math equasions and angry sexual things the entire time he was asleep. I on the other hand had to listen to that and awful cartoons that no kid (or mentally undeveloped young adult) in their right mind would watch.

But anyway, I'm just glad that idiot hasn't thought of taking a hammer to me yet.. which scares me cause I know the above mentioneds of shooting, setting ablaze and pissing on will probably be correct guesses as to what will be done to me. God, this kid is so angry. I don't even think a psychiatrist could help him. He seems like the kinda kid who would start making fart sounds with his mouth as the poor pyschiatrist would be trying to ask questions to evaluate ol' captian looney tune.

Shit, I think he knows I'm writing this. I better go back to hiding in the bag he forgot where he put it before he comes at me with a saw or remembers he has a vicegrip somewhere in the basement.