I Wrote Holden Caulfield and so Did You

I don't even know where to start off cause I have so many thoughts raging in my head right now. All these things, jumbled up in my brain right now, thrashing left and right. It's like the fucking pits that would go down at a hardcore show during a breakdown back when CBGB was around. I'm just sitting here trying to keep from getting a roundhouse kick to the head right now.

Anyway... um yea.

Last night was so-so. It was kinda like jerking off and then not busting your nut off at the end. Met up Romil at Union Bar, AGAIN. Much like the night before, I miraculously got a parking spot a stones throw from the bar (getting good parking this past month is about the ONLY good thing to happen in my life and realizing this is probably gonna lead to me being severely depressed in a few minutes). But what the fuck was I saying? Oh yea, we met up and had a few drinks before it was time to get to the theater to see Mystery Team. I had maybe 2 or 3 gin and tonics and a shot of cafe patron or patron cafe... or whatever the fuck that coffee flavored tequila is fucking called. The bartender eerily looked like the splitting image of this girl I know/knew from Jersey. Unfortunately, she did not cut us a break like the girl who usually takes care of us when we go there (really, I cannot emphisize enough how hot that girl is and how she is a fucking saint for giving us deals on drinks and puts up with our jackassery).

Onward, we left for the theater. It was just about full when we got there but we managed to get good seats, if you consider the fact people who are well off have nicer home theaters in their basements than this dump, and you aren't ontop of each other in seats that barely fit your ass in. Seriously, it was like a theater for midgets. Rather large midgets, but midgets none the less. If not midgets, fat kids. But I am digressing like a mother fucker right now. I really wish people weren't idiots. what is it with some people that they have this need, want or desire to be complete morons when in the room with someone even remotely famous? Do you really have to laugh extra hard to obnoxious proportions at things that aren't even funny, just because the person may be a funny fellow? Seriously, Don Glover could have told the crowd the ingredients in a dishwashing detergent and these people would fucking LOSE it. I had the displeasure of sitting next to 3 asian kids like this. I couldn't hear half the fucking lines thanks to their dumb, stupid, forced laughter. Fucking just sit there and enjoy the fucking movie for what it is Goddammit. People like that are one of the many reasons I hate so much. I seriously sat there just staring at these kids several points during the movie, but Romil kept telling me to calm down and just ignore them. Kinda hard to ignore the elephant in the room when it's blasting his trunk in your face. There was a Q&A after the movie. Some of the questions were mentally crippling. Like seriously, I cant enjoy living with idiots like this in the world. Darwin was a fucking liar. It's not the fit that are surviving. IT's the spoiled ass-hat wearing children of mongolids that are thriving, and they need to be stopped... and on that note, i am going to stop talking about everything but the movie before this starts sounding like the makings of a manifesto in the vein of Ted Kaczynski.

but yea, how bout them yankees?

After the movie we met up Ronak, his girlfriend and their friends for Roank's girlfriend's birthday party. We didn't really have any intent to stay there for all too long. It was kinda crowded. Romil checked his coat and I refused to because that A) insiuated we were staying longer than I desired to and; B) I am not paying some asshole to put my coat on a hanger. Get a real job you fuck'tards (this coming from a guy whose job is a fucking joke). But yea, we couldn't find him, then realized tehre was an upstairs. Lemme tell you something about upstairs. IT SUCKED. It was WAAAAAY over crowded and stunk like a guido at the gym. The description I texted to Scott about this place was that I felt like I was in a sardine can that was fermented by jocar noir (or however that fucking cologne is spelt) and sweat. It was like a fucking animal den in there. This one guy was doing one of those really retarded things that somehow is called "dancing" where he was basically just inappropriately acting out sex on some girl that was sitting on a couch. It was kinda like that video of those kids showing off their ability to sex it up... but on an ottoman. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you are fucking seriosuly missing out on hilarity. As if THAT wasn't enough, there was some guy that looked like Seal, minus the facial scars, in a corduroy jacket just snapping photo after photo of drunks girls butts as they danced. Around the same time I noticed this going on, some other mongoloid tried talking to me about God knows what and I just looked at him blankly and walked away. I think he over heard me making fun of someone. I told some really mess of a drunk girl "no hablo ingles" when she came up to me. She was like "whaat?" I said "i don't speak english" and she goes "oh, ok" and walked away. I was in no mood to be in there and it showed. OH, what else happened? Something weird. Here's my texts to Scott regarding the place:

"This PLACE is dirt!"

"This bar i'm at that ronak told us to go to. nothing but judging indians and some fat cambodian dude with a fauxhawk rubbing his sweaty belly like he's the all knowing peaceful buddah"

I think Romil tried introducing me to some people and i was just an utter asshole off the bat. Some guy came up to me and I just went "woah, woah woah... you're not indian," before he could get a word in. After a few shots and rounds we left. Shit was EXPENSIVE. I don't know what you were paying all that money for. Definitely not the atmosphere. Definitely not the watered down shit they told me was booze. Definitely not the "awesome" dj work of that asshole sitting there with an ipod. Bang up job he fucking did. I should start calling myself DJ Ramy. I mean, I know how to use the shuffle option on my itunes. That's all these lowlifes do... AND THEY GET PAID TO DO IT!

Loki met us up around the time I walked out and refused to come back in. I was sitting outside chain smoking (yea, good idea when you're sick, right?) and ended up talking to some asian chick who was with the party. My subtle hints to come to the next bar with us (which was basially "yea, we're going around the corner to this other bar. You should come with us) didn't seem to work. But whatever. We showed up to this bar Jeff was working at. It was kinda dead... and I just remembered I should check the pockets of my jeans I was wearng last night when I get home from work. I forgot I kept stuffing the free peanuts they had out into my pockets and was walking around, eating them out of my pocket so I didn't have to just sit there in front of a bucket on the bar. I also made QUITE the mess with the shells. Well, it was kinda messy to begin with, i just contributed more to it. Also, that place gives out free hot dogs that you serve yourself. Seriously. It was a miniturized version of one of those street vendor carts, just sitting in the corner of the bar. It had all these condiments... which also reminds me, I have to clean my hoodie cause I sprayed ketchup all over myself. I am such a mess. It surprises me how long I've lived on this world. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't even know how to tie my own shoes if it was socially acceptable to wear velcro shoes past the age of 4.

Oh, and these fucking gavones asked me if I could score them some coke. Do I fucking look like a goddamn pusher? Seriously. Go jerk off with a cheese grater.

Smoking outside was usual Ramy wackiness. The bouncer was gone at one point and I took it upon myself to start carding people (long story, but me and TJ did it a few times outside a bar that didn't have a bouncer and people would buy us drinks to thank us for letting them in). Anyway, this guy wasn't mad at me... but he wasn't happy. In fact, he saw me and thought it was hilarious I was giving these people shit for their IDs. Only thing he was really upset about was he said there's a camera outside and he could get fired for me doing that shit. (how that works, I don't know). I did another thing that further proves I have the most retarded sense of trying to pick up girls. What was it? Hitting on a hot blond outside the bar while her boyfriend just sat there like the jamoke he came off as. God, what is wrong with me?

We all eventually left when we realized nothing was happening and it was gonna stay that way. Romil and I took a cab back to my car, I drove him to his car, and then I drove home somehow. I passed the fuck out within minutes of getting home.

I woke up today, spitting up blood filled loogies and snot rocketing out blood filled boogers. Life is pretty peachy.

I'll end this with two quotes I got from Scott last night that I found humerous:

- Tony and Marc were laughing at how drunk and angry I was last night while playing cod. They were asking what was going on and why I kept yelling "Ramy shut up and why do you have my wig on?"

- Haha watching 89 batman and the money parade scene is on and hes dancing to prince on the float and sarah goes "thats so ramy"