Responses: Part II

So, I got some more feedback today from people taking this creative writing class with me (see the last blog if you have no clue what I'm talking about). But yea, I didn't really feel the need to be even more self centered and report back more of things written to and about me, but the first response of today's few I got today made me go "HA!"

This guy wrote: "I'm not sure if you've ever read Charles Bukowski, but you write like you could be his son." If you've read the bio I wrote for myself on this blog, you'd understand why I found humor in this statement. He even quoted a good quote from Bukowski of "The nine-to-five is one of the greatest atrocities sprung upon mankind. You give your life away to a function that doesn't interest you. This situation so repelled me that I was driven to drink, starvation, and mad females, simply as an alternative." Damn fucking straight. This kid was also the only person to say basically fuck the classic story arch and was the only person NOT to tell me my "character" didn't change which he is apparently supposed to.

Another person wrote they didn't like the title, but suggested something less up front like "Supersize... NOT me." Eh, whatever.

The other two responses I got besides the two above mentioned weren't anything too WOW inspiring for me to comment in here.

Now, if you'll excuse me. I have to go back to being cocooned in my blanket, coughing my lungs up, listening to Nofx's mystic records era crap and watching "real wolfman" on history channel... dammit. It's over. Something on the abominable snowman. Eh, still good. Gotta love cryptozoology.

Regarding the Story in my Last Blog

So, I didn't get a chance to really sit down and read the responses written to me regarding the story cause Wednesday was such a rush of a mess.

But yea, here's how the day went down regarding going over the story. I walk into the room where my creative writing class is being held and the people already in the room all look up, grinning like idiots. One guy lets out a "THERE HE IS!" and they start clapping. I look around confused and go "um, what'd I do?" Turns out they were all saying how ridiculous my stories are that I submit to the class. As I'm getting myself comfortable in my seat, someone goes "this is a true story, right? It has to be." I go "um... perhaps." Then go "why do you ask?" One of the guys replied, "there is no way a story like this is so fluid without it being a true story." Anyway, so the class finally starts and we eventually get to the class debating my story. Most, if not all, of the class pretty much knew it was about me without me saying a word about it. One girl, however, butted in at one point going "I feel the story needed more fat girls hitting on the main character." Thoughts like "what are you, a chubby chaser?" and "one fat girl is more than enough" raced by. The teacher went on at one point to say that he feels the main character is possibly a little shy or insecure about himself and that's why he lashes out. At this point, I heard someone in the back of the room yell out "he sounds like a drunk asshole to me!" But whatever. Here are some of the funnier replies I got from people.

"Your story reminds me of 'Cacher in the Rye' a bit."

After going on about how I need more dialogue and description of my friends, one person wrote, "Definitely funny as hell.'

"You have a very sick mind, which is why I like your fiction so much." (Little does he know this wasn't fiction).

The same writer responded "I don't see many invitations from any women's or gay rights groups in the immediate future for you, but your fearless approach is commendable."

I was told I have a "sardonic voice".

"the story reads like a huge rant" was one of the notes I read while on the shitter.

From the notes of the girl who kept saying she wanted fat girls in the story: "I really REALLY wanted EVERYONE, EVERY CHICK, to be a chubby dumpling. (girl really wanted it to be like a speed dating for fatties it seems).

"Even drunk 'fat girls' can respond sometimes with the funniest a purposeful lines."

And that's about it for now. I am supposed to be given a few more responses by monday. That should be for some more laughs. (did i mention I was laughing my ass off almost the entire time they were talking about my story? It was cause I just thought the responses were so ridiculous at times).

Out of Left Field

So, last night I was informed a friend of mine is getting engaged. He's getting engaged to a girl his parents weren't too keen on him dating when they first found out about it (and if you think it's a little "feh" kinda thing, it's not, apparently his father couldn't get out of bed when he heard who he was dating). Not only that, around 2am last night I got a text from this kid saying he wants me to be one of the best men at the wedding. A) his parents would call me to try and talk this kid out of dating this girl (I am surprised I haven't gotten a call from them to tell me to try and convince him to call off the wedding... unless this is all a giant joke he's playing). B) if this is indeed a real wedding that is about to take place, I will be seen swigging from my GWAR flask several times through out the ceremony. A rather large swig will be taken at the "speak now or forever hold your peace" part as well. and then C) With all this in mind, what kind of fucking speech are you supposed to give during this kinda situation?

In other news I had a make up for my creative writing class that was supposed to be held yesterday but wasn't due to some Jewish holiday. The teacher kept coming up to me asking me my opinion on things and I would just shrug my shoulders or give him some half assed answer, followed by wondering why the fuck he is picking on me for so many things. Later on he gave us a very short story to read for homework and go over to talk about in class tomorrow about the writing style and why it is so good. The whole time he kept bringing up this one style and asking why someone would use it and why it is so good. The entire time he also was holding this large packet of pages i saw with notes written all over it. Then I thought to myself "jesus, that is the story I submitted last week." He raised it in the air and said how I used the style very well and more people should learn from my writing and so forth. The word genius was tossed around too. Who would have thought rants about high level alcohol benders would be considered borderline genius story telling? The notes are hilarious. Well, hilarious to me cause they're written as if the people were made up characters and not friends of mine I got retarded with out in California. Shit said such as how he loves my main character and thinks I should develop my secondary characters a bit more, possibly giving them more dialogue, etc. Other notes like how the teacher would like to hear more about this character and his adventures and see how much trouble he gets in (lord if he only knew the shit I've gotten into over the years... I think my next submission might be about the time me and some friends tried stealing another friend's car when we were 18 to see his thoughts on that one). This teacher is also very adamant about me trying to get this story and similar stories published. here in the fuck would I go about doing that? (I'm fairly sure it's an automatic A in the class, so please, do tell me how if you know) Also, if anyone could tell me why on God's green Earth I have that fucking Better Than Ezra song "Good" stuck in my head earlier today, I'm open to suggestions not only as to why but how never to get it stuck in there again.

I dunno what else I wanted to say in here, so here's the first few paragraphs of the story in question:

I knew this trip was going to be a bit wild, especially seeing how Loki and me were heading to the airport directly after the bar in Suffern, but I never thought it'd be so ridiculous so fast.

"Sir, are you a diabetic? ARE YOU GOING INTO DIABETIC SHOCK? Are you on any prescriptions that we need to know of? Do you need help? Do we need to take the plane down for an emergency?" Coming to consciousness, finding yourself sprawled across the floor in the back of the airplane to the barrage of these questions is not something you usually expect from a standard plane ride, but then again, you're not me and nothing apparently is standard when I'm around.

I came to after hearing these questions and answer "huh? what?" I look around and see 3 stewardesses hovering over me with the utmost looks of concern and shock as I kind of put up one arm to block the flashlight in my eyes. One stewardess piped up and goes "Sir, you look very pale, is there any health problems you have we should attend to?" I try and shimmy my body up against the back wall of the airplane as I reply with "I know, I'm always pale. Just leave me alone, I have to piss or puke. Just leave me alone." AS I'm sitting there, another stewardess comes running up with a damp, cold paper towel and throws it on top of my forehead and starts patting my face. I kind of do one of my Frankenstein arm toss and grunts. You know the one, the one where he yells “FIRE! BAD!” But, that wasn’t the case. My case was that I just let out "I HAVE TO PEE!" They point to the bathroom door, and don't tell me this isn't the standard door one would expect. I start pulling on it really hard like some dumb ape and grunting trying to get it open. I throw my arms in the air in frustration and exhaustion and am about to sit back down on the floor until one of the stewardesses tells me "sir, you have to push into the door and it will collapse and open." I looked at her like she was on drugs when she told me this and start shoving into the door. Weird shit, it worked just like she said it would. I must say, pissing during turbulence isn't fun. I kicked the door open to exit and staggered back to my seat to find where I threw my hat and ipod. Memories came back of me standing up to throw those 2 items down onto my seat as I stood up. All I remember after that instance was that I was taking a footstep and then what I can only describe a feeling as if someone hit me on the back of the head and everything went black. Obviously, no one was standing behind me and striking me across the back of my head, but yea. All of this happened within an hour of the plane having had taken off and us being up in the air.

When the plane landed, several stewardesses came up to me to make sure I was ok. They offered me drinks (which I said yes to only to find out the drink offered was orange juice) and sandwiches (which thank God I declined, because they had intentions of charging me 6 buck for a turkey sandwich I would have refused to have eaten because it had turkey in it). When I finally gave in to their repetitive questioning as to what it could have been that made me do what happened, I kind of just lied to them and told them it was a mixture of not eating dinner and not getting a good night's sleep. They believe it and I obviously didn't want to tell them it was most definitely because for 6 hours straight me, Loki and an ass-ton of people we know headed over to Suffern for a night of nonstop drinking pints of booze and shots of God only knows what. Apparently Loki's brother had to corral the two of us out of the bar cause we wanted to stay and keep drinking. I was reminded after the whole ordeal of me being in California that I was just a mess in the back seat staring at my cell phone as Loki was dead to the world in the shotgun seat, snoring his heart out. He and I sat there the next day when we got off the plane, staring at one another, hung over as all hell asking one another “how did we get on the pane in the first place?” Loki didn’t even remember leaving the bar, let alone, how he got on the friggin’ plane. All I remember is the two of us stumbling around, Loki dropping all his belongings all over the airport and being told he had to check his bags.

Anyway, after the two of us landed, we staggered off the plane like those zombies in Michael Jackson’s music video for Thriller. First on the agenda after arriving at LAX was to rent a car. We hopped some bus to the rental car place after sitting there, trying to remember the night prior as well as me loudly pointing out how ugly these 2 girls were sitting near us on the plane. I of course, not having any sense of care, was probably loud enough for not only the 2 said girls, but also everyone at the baggage claim to hear me go “UGHHH, SO FUCKING BRUTE LOOKING!” At the rental car place, we were given the choice of a full sized car. We saw a Dodge Charger, but the keys weren't in it. We were thoroughly disappointed and ended up sticking with a white Chevy Impala (I later found out there were V-8 Impalas when we returned the car and was kind of disappointed). But yea, we hit Denny's and sat there staring blankly at each other, grunting in pain and hating on what we eventually figured out was a fire alarm beeping every five seconds (you know, when you need to change the battery, and it keeps letting out that annoying high pitched beep? Yea, try sitting there eating your food while that is going off and causing the utmost annoyance since you have a hangover like no other).