This was followed by sitting in traffic for God knows how long cause of car after car broken down on the highway. Eventually made it to Loki's to head out to the studio to pack up all the gear to bring to the show they were playing last night. Loki tried buying a large van to move the equiptment with, but instead, found all the place had left was a box truck... a very broken down and ghetto box truck. I rolled up to Loki's as he was walking out the door. I just looked at him, looked at the truck, and said "are you kidding me?" The thing looked something like this:
...only there were no break pads, the shocks were so bad it was like the Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang ride and Loki's brother was saying this and that were cracked on the engine. Like I said to Loki as we were going down the highway in that thing "this thing stinks of safety" (I also was saying that because the fumes coming out of it were noxious beyond belief).
Load in wasn't too bad. Me and Loki showed up in the truck, Bob and JV followed (more like got lost along the way, I think) and Brian and Eric were already there waiting for us.
Showed up to the place they were playing at. It was attached to this... I was gonna say strip club, but the only stripping done, which was done by a um, shall we say "thick" girl, lead to her still wearing clothes under the already barely there clothes she had on. I don't even wanna go into how their cold, clamy skin, how one of them had bruises all over and I kept asking if the thick girl had a tattoo on her ass or if someone decked her in the ass cheek.
Did I mention Bob and I were broke beyond belief? I had enough to buy he and I a beer each and 2 singles left over to tip two of the strippers. Those fucking clothed vultures could smell a dollar from a mile away. Bob was saying "no tits, no tip" should be the motto while there. First girl came up to me, no tits, and I just look at her blankly, drinking my beer, and eventually say "what?" She just sat there, started stroking her hair, and then kinda turns. I, still with the blank look on my face, playing dumb, once again ask, "what do you want?" to her. Then she did that ass presenting thing all the girls did there and turned around expecting a dollar. I looked at Bob and go "ugh, I guess I have to give her a dollar," and as she went to open her shirt up for me to put it in there I kinda just tossed it at her so she'd leave me alone. Another one eventually came by and did the same thing and I threw it in her shirt, and felt some cold clammy boobage. (which brings me to how Mary brought attention to the fact they should be working up a sweat, not some cold, drug addict, sweat... but then again, they are strippers and I'm sure they're on some kinda meth amphetamines at all times). Oh, and the little behind shake I'm referring to that they did? It was something similar to what Pablo Francisco does when telling a strip club story:
Eventually, the last 2 bucks I had on me where gone (yea, THAT took long) and me and Bob would just look away, stare at the tv, or, more often than not, look at our cell phones. Eventually, one just wouldn't go away, so Bob told her that he was waiting for change. She then goes to me and sarcastically said "lemme guess, you're waiting for change too?" I lighty heartedly smiked back at her and go "yep!" I figured we were gonna stay thre a bit longer, so I decided to take out money from the ATM in there til I realized that there's a 10 dollar surcharge for using their ATM. Talk about rip off... that and I didn't have much money in my checking account so I was like screw this. The reaminder of the time in there, me, Bob, Brian, and Eric just stood back away from the bar as to keep away from the grubby gals there finished our beers, mocked strippers, and eventually left back for the bar in the part where they were playing later in the night.
It was like lost in translation trying to talk to that bartender (I have never seen that stupid movie, but I imagine it had to do with trying to talk to someone of the opposite sex that couldn't understand you too well, so that is why I'm saying it was like that). "Double" Vodka Sodas were flowing like nobodies business til I realized that they were 12 bucks for 2 shots in a cup the size of um... I guess it would be in relation to a snapple bottle, but only to the top label of the label on it. Yea, nothing to gloat about. This was even after I went up to her, well, as far up as one could get to a bartender behind the bar, and said "are you serious with these cups, do you have anything bigger?" With the previous cups I was being served drinks in, I felt like i was being served juice at a child's pizza party. After I found out my bill was already 31 bucks from 2 "doubles" and a regular drink, I switched to the 3 dollar drafts which were in medium sized party cups. I drank miller lights and complained that it was piss water all night. That and I kept obnoxiously yelling "AMERICAN!" every now and then in my worst Hank Hill impression as I drank it.
Apparently, all but 3 bands backed off the billing, so the Doomsday Prophecy set was bumped up to 2nd out of 3 sets. Load in (and eventually load back out) was fucking swift and just with now 10 or so guys running back and forth with all the equiptment.
As usual, DP tore the place apart. Some dude was smoking a blunt while they were playing and started passing it around shortly after Ed launched me into the guy and I, not only knocked beer out of a few people's hands, but nailed Mr. Blunt dude into the wall. One dude was so blitzed he kept hanging from this lights rafter and swinging around like a damn ape as they played.
We hung around for a while after their set. I must mention, that the singer of the last band that played looked like if you took Luigi from Super Mario Bros, and let him grow his hair out and put an anti-drug shirt on him. But yea, drinks kept going on for a while. I was shocked as shit when I asked to close out my tab and the bartender smiled at me and handed me back my tab and it was only 39 dollars instead of close to 60 like it shoulda been. I must've had the glistening smile of a child when that happened... then, to add to the joy I was feeling, Loki gave me one of the drink tickets the promoter gave him for the band to have free drinks.
Then... the crazy happened. everyone left except Bob, Brian, Eric and Matt Johnson, who had gone BACK to the "Gentleman's Club". They all came back to the car around the time I texted Bob letting him know, I was standing next to his car like a jackass for a ride home since everyone with a car but him had already left. This is when the second crazy ride of the night happened. First off, Bob pulls out of the parking lot, blows the first red light, then another, and was gonna blow a third til Brian started yelling to stop cause it was a red light. WE got on the highway, Matt Johnson following us, and all I remember was screaming that we were gonna hit cars, we were gonna loose Matt Johnson (which Bob freaked out and started yelling "MATT JOHNSON IS FOLLOWING US! WE HAVE TO LOOSE HIM!" as if he was a cop or something, and we were blasting Johnny Thunders and changing the lyrics to be about Rags-related nonsense. Much laughter was had... and followed by screams of fear here and there.
We eventually made it to the studio to load the equiptment back in and then went into the alley behind the studio to hang out and um... have a pow-wow I guess.
Eventually, Bob said to get my ass in gear cause me and him were gonna go back to Loki's since he was tired. This resulted in part 1 of a 2 part crazy ride #3. We first had to drop Brian off at his house, so that resulted in craziness in Westwood. For some reason, Bob decided to listen to his GPS instead of Brian, who lived in that town his whole life (and to a VERY lesser extent, I who lived there for a short stint) and went down quite possibly the worst road to go down in that town. The road that, as Brian put it, "hasn't been paved since 1941!" it was the bumpiest, ride in the world and I couldn't stop laughing as Brian was going off about how we should have never taken that turn and kept telling Bob to get off to a side road ASAP.
Shortly after, we made it to Brians, dropped him off, and then on the way back took a turn on Garden State SOUTH by accident. This turned into a two man opperation of me being look out as he drove in reverse off the onramp to the highway. I pointed out the Don Johnson house to Bob, we laughed, and then he started listening to his GPS again and it took us off in this Ho Chi Minh Trail around back to the main roads near Loki's. When we got there, we realized JV and Sam weren't back yet, so I said I was calling it a night and drove home. Of course they pulled up as I was leaving, but I said fuck it and just kept on heading home.
Came home, drunkenly tried on the Wolverine shirt I had bought, and the Gotham Rd hoodie that had been sitting around Loki's for a week ever since JV had made for me, and then I eventually passed out on my bed.
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