Gone With the Sanity

Well, last night I narrowly escaped death... again.

What happened? About 2 or so hours into us sitting around waiting for a tow truck, Scott put it best. "This is like Pee-Wee's Big Adventure where he wakes up and the fortune for the day says "do not go outside," and he just shrugs it off and goes out anyway. Yea. What happened? Well, let's see. The whole day consisted of me taking full advantage of my day off. In reality, all I did was lay there like an animal you find dying on the side of the road and switching it up between watching horrible television and playing Call of Duty.

Eventually, Scott got back to me about wanting to go out cause he got tired of waiting for a response to his plans. Ian also called and said he wanted to hang out. Among trying to figure a plan out with Scott, we came up with "THE WHEEL OF ALCOHOLISM!" Basially it's a like the wheel from the wheel of fortune, but instead of money, it's gonna be bars we always go to. It's gonna be for those nights, like last night, where we can't decide where to go. We ended up deciding to go to the Stumble Inn cause we never been in there since they changed Moe's Carribian into that place and wanted to check it out (also since we haven't been in that neck of the woods in a whiles). But yea, NONE of our plans went into action last night. We got to Ian's, picked him up, hopped on the West Side highway and I passed the exit for 79th street. Scott pointed it out to me, and I said to shut up. I turned around at 56th street and got back on the Westside highway. As I'm coming up to pass the onramp right before the offramp for 79th street, I notice this car is NOT stopping at the stop sign before getting on the highway. No, he did not have any sense of caring that a car going 60+ miles per hour (knowing me, probably closer to mid to high 70s) was barreling down at him. I slammed on the breaks and started honking as my ABS kicked in. Well, it had to work over time cause while skidding to avoid hitting the guy who cut me off, I hit a patch of black ice and KEPT skidding even farther. To add insult to what I thought was inevitable injury was that this MORON started slowing down, meaning I was still flying into him and instead of speeding up like he should have done in the first place if he was gonna jump out in front of me, he slowed down to make it more probable that I'd hit him.

Eventually, I got around this guy and veered off onto the off ramp for 79th street. As I hit the breaks to slow down around the bend, I realized a lack of break pressure and that we were NOT slowing down AT ALL. I calmly say to Scott and Ian, "I have no breaks... I. Have. NO. Breaks. Dude... the breaks aren't working." Scott and Ian kinda look at each othere not thinking it was too serious until I slammed on the parking break and it was not slowing us down in time to not go through the stop sign into traffic. Even worse, the after barreling through that stop sign with Scott, Ian and I now freaking out bad, we realized we were propper fucked when we had to blow through a light where a busy Riverside drive was the cross street, us 3 embracing for impact into a car from one of the 3 directions ahead of us. We ended up going up the hill on 79th street and I pulled the car over after some car almost hit us, honking wildly at us, and threw the car into park as we slowed down going up the hill. The 3 of us just looked at each other, said, "what the fuck?" and then tried to figure out what the hell had happened and how we did not get hit by one oncoming car that entire run the highway to the part of the hill that stopped us (mind you, Manhattan is almost COMPELTELY flat land and the odds of there being a hill are slim to none. I can only imagine how bad of an accident we'd have gotten into had it been a flat straight away after getting off the highway.

Ok, so this is 11pm that this all happened. We all got out of the car and decided to pop the hood to see if there was any break fluid since there was no pressure on the break. There was NONE. I made Scott ask the doorman at the building we were parked in front of if he knew where to get break fluid as I had Ian looking up places on his cell phone to call and see if they had any either. After Scott wandering the local streets and Ian failing at finding a place near by, the two of them hopped a cab to some mechanic up in the high 90s on broadway. Apparently they dealt with the worst salesman ever. They asked the guy for 2 bottles of break fluid just to make sure in case there was a leak we'd have a spare bottle to have. The guy goes "nah... I think you just need one." The two of them replied back with something like "we'd feel safer with two. Just give us two bottles, ok?"

They showed up back at the car, I popped the hood, we poured an entire bottle of break fluid into the car. Noticed it was going down a little. Then, we crawled under the car to see a gyser of break fluid streaming like water from a faucet out of the break line. Around this time, I threw my arms in the air and started yelling anger.

I called my mom for the second time. The first time, I tried explaining to her the whole situation to let her know I may need the roadside assistance info. What that turned into was me yelling at her for not listening to me and hanging the phone up on her (yes ladies, and I'm single too). She called the roadside assistance for me, and then called me back complaining how she can't stand dealing with outsourced companies with people who can barely speak English. What happened next? I get a phone call from the roadside company with the same lady saying she got a call saying that I needed a tow. I swear to God, I wanted to murder this woman for not understanding a word I was saying. I'd talk slow, I'd talk loud... I would be punching the roof of my car followed by thrashing in agony at how ridiculous it was that this woman could not get simple instructions down right. I kept telling her I wanted the car towed to this town outside of manhattan in Westchester County. She thought the town's name was the name of the street and I would go "no, it's in New York, the state." She goes "new york city?" Shit like that, over and over as Ian and Scot laughed at me flipping the fuck out.

What happened next was the most mind numbing waiting game ever. Basically the woman with the horrible accent said the tow truck would be there by 2am. From 12 to Well after 3 when the guy finally rolled up was the 3 of us sitting in the car losing our minds. Eventually, we all lost it and were just laughing at the stupidest things. We had all finally snapped. I wish I recorded some of our antics and nonsense conversations, but whatever.

When the guy showed up, Ian hopped in a cab back to his apartment, and Scott and I had the pleasure of riding with this guy, couldn't be that much older than us, blasting whatever was on the radio, as we shook violently whenever the damn thing would go faster than 50 miles per hour (the dude obviously had a fucked tire or a bent axle and would just ignore it as Scott and I felt like our brains were being violently shooken from our skulls). The best part of the guy taking the car back off the flatbed he had? He forgot there was no breaks and almost plowed into some car he tried parking my car behind. I got out of the truck after filling out all this info for him, and see the car is in the middle of the road, sideways. He goes "oops. Forgot about the breaks til the last minute, had to swerve the car.

The fucking towing fee was over 200 bucks, fuck me.

Ontop of that, Scott and I started walking through two til my mom got the two of us. I didn't get home til around 4:30am and usually when that happens, it means it was a long night out drinking. Not last night obviously.

INTERMISSION
(Feel free to grab some snacks and drinks)

Thursday night. Oh Thursday night. Scott and I were bored, but didn't know what to do. It turned into deciding to go to Down the Hatch. Reasoning? We wanted to see if the girl with giant cans was working. If not, at least there'd be some loose NYU girls probably slutting it up in there. Scott called Mike Dani, Jose and then texted TJ since him and Dennis were in the city already. Mike and Jose declined. and TJ and Dennis said they'd meet us up later.

We showed up and realized all drinks were 3 dollars all night. Looked at each other and Scott said "guess we're not gonna have to worry about spending too much money anyway." LIE! WE both blew about 60 to 80 bucks each (fucking shot after shot is what got us). Highlights. Two of us are sitting at the bar, drinking and talking. This MESS of a girl just shoves herself right between us and shoves us apart. First she starts talking to Scott. Then to me. I really wish I bashed her even more than I started to. Eh, whatever. While she was talking to Scott, I spit my gum out onto the bar table top. I then placed it on a beer coaster and kept trying to slide it under her arm or hand while Scott kept her distracted by keeping the inane convo going. Eventually, I started taking lemon and lime slices and placing them about her. The bartender saw this and took everything off the table when I left for the bathroom at one point. The best was, I guess around the time I was in the bathroom, one of the bartenders asked Scott if he knew this girl. Scott's reply was a very violent headshaking to imply his answer was a "no". The girl would not go away til I started saying something along the lines of her being a rude disgusting person and between that and Scott's ignoring her, she realized she was not welcome near us.

Oh, lets see what else there was. Two SLUTS at the opposite end of the bar. One kept making eye contact with me. Everytime we'd both go outside for a cigarette, I'd try and stike up a convo with her but someone WOULD NOT LEAVE ME ALONE! First time it was a bum. I started telling him I'm broke and started walking away and he asked me for money. I turn to him, put my hood up on my head, and go "it's fucking cold and I don't have health insurance, so this is what I do to avoid getting sick and paying doctors bills." he goes "... so can I have a dollar?" I go "NO!" Another time, this guy starts going off on Italians and I get heated into the convo. One guy was half Italian and half Chinese. Once I was informed of this, I kept calling him Chi-talian. Around this time, TJ and Dennis showed up too, so I kinda veered off to say what's up to them. TJ had a stuffed dog that he won at this new Carnival bar somewhere near Union Square. We ended up talking to two girls outside the bar before even entering. I don't remember how the convo started but I do recall telling the story about how I made a college review guy think I was half black/hispanic to get into the college and it totally worked somehow.

Later on we went inside and TJ handed off the stuffed dog to me. That is when I put it up on my shoulder like a shoulder wrap and evntually put it atop my head and walked around the bar wearing this stuffed dog like a hat. People kept coming up to me and asking what the hell I had on my head, girls were cheersing me their drinks, etc. Eventually TJ grabbed the dog before going over to a table of girls to talk to them as Scott and I sat there laughing at this woman I kept screaming "BIG BIRD!" at. Sweet anola gay! She had this giant, over permed, over bleached buffont. Way too tight jeans that were going up her anus. Oh, and her face? Imagine taking a beat face, putting saran wrap over it, and then blow drying it to ceal it to ones face. Yea, that kinda ugly.

Eventually, TJ and Dennis headed for home and Mike Dani showed up after he changed his mind about meeting us up. The 3 of us just drank and drank and finally I got to talking to one of the sluts from across the bar. First convo didn't go off as planned and blew up in my face. Second one, I learn she was older than me by 3 years and looked hot as shit and not showing any signs of withering away anytime soon. Of course, as soon as I get in good with her, some douchebag she knows comes out and cock blocks me to no end til I get fed up with being a douche right back to him.

Eventually we left and had the fat feast. Me, Scott and Mike went to Papaya Dog. Scott got what I'm gonna have to start refering to as "the usual feast", then he said he was still hungry, and Mike said he refused to let me go anywhere near my car til I ate a little more to sober up. So, Scott threw me a 20 and told me to go grab a pie from Joe's. Scott waited around the corner while I ordered the pie. Right before I left, I shoved a glass salt shaker onto the floor, causing glass shards and salt to go everywhere. The entire staff looked at me, one started yelling. I grinned like an idiot and ran out, box of pizza in hand laughing like an idiot.

The reason Scott does this now when we get Joe's pizza dates back to about 2 years ago around October/November when John came from New Mexico to visit. We went to Joe's to get pizza. The guy serving us was a total dick to Scott and John. John asked for meatballs on his pizza. Scott asked for a plain. John got a plain slice and Scott got a Mozzerella slice. When they asked what the fuck was up, the guy shrugged his shoulders and was like "no special orders." Scott, in a rage, storms out of Joe's, goes to the curb, grabbed a big wet smelly full garbage bag, walks back to the entrance of the store, opens the door, and then proceeded to launch the garbage bag at the employees. I was not aware of the whole situation or how bad it was until Scott, John, Jose and whoever else was out with us all booked it down the street and I sat there, lighting up a cigarette, clueless, until I heard John go "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING STANDING THERE? RUN!"

So yea, that's about it. The ride home consisted of us 2 stuffing pizza in our mouths as we drove down the FDR and 87 to get back home, blasting Lady Gaga and screaming like assholes the entire ride home.

To sum it up nicely, Merideth questioned one of Scott's post on twitter regarding that night that said: "I've had enough pizza and lady gaga to shake a stick at... "

When questioned about this by her, his response was: "It was a regular maelstrom of dude dancing in the car on the ride home." I think it can go without saying she did not reply back to him up until this afternoon once she recieved THAT text.

So yea, Lord only knows what insanity await tonight for Mr Mike DeLisi's birthday party tonight. We're supposed to go bar hopping all the dive bars up and down St Marks street. Knowing me, I'll end up wandering down to Crif Dogs and/or Nino's Pizza... possibly end up storming Jared and Desiree's apartment the block over like I'm the Spanish Inquisition. Who knows.

Oh, and how can I forget, after a sure to be long painful day at work Sunday morning, I am going to catch H2O for their 15th Anniversary show at the Knitting Factory (which apparently moved out to Brooklyn now) for this 250 only admittance, no barricades, show. Shit is gonna be OFF-THE-FUCKING-WALL!

What is This Cock Block You Speak Of?

Last night started out bland. Scott and I tried to figure who were were gonna hang out with. TJ was in PA. Mike was only staying in town. Loki, obviously didn't meet us up. Dan was staying in..... Then there's the fact I fell the fuck asleep and missed a bunch of Scott's phone calls as predicted when he got home from work and wanted to go out.

Woke up, showered, got dressed, picked up Scott and headed to the East Village. Half hour of looking for a parking spot later... the two of us went to Ace Bar to meet up Jose.

In there, it was kinda lame. Well, there were decent to hot looking girls, but they ALL had a boyfriend or some form of guy friend with them. Reasons we left after 2 drinks included, but were not limited to:

- a kid that looked like Lyle Lovett:



- a gay dude dancing up a storm around us:



- a crazy guy talking to himself loudly that I thought was talking to someone but Scott says was just a complete nut:



So yea, as for these 3 aforementioned, there was also only attention given to me, besides from Scott, by the racoon eyed bitch with some jerk-wad boyfriend she was with giving me the racoon eye every now and then. Oh, and there was a buncha guys that you could tell smelled of fat sweat that reeked of pot and one of them looked at me when I said it stunk in the bar.

We decided to go to Down the Hatch cause we figured the girl with the gigantic tits was working last night. Jose got there before us and texted Scott that she wasn't there, and that a buncha dudes were just hanging out. We went anyway cause Scott had intentions of blowing 180 dollars at the bar on shots. We walked in and first thing Scott does when we find Jose is order a round for the 3 of us. It included a shot of jager, a shot of american honey (honey flavored wild turkey), and a glass of gin and soda. We cheers'd the shot of jager to... I don't remember... sluts? We cheers'd the shot of american honey to... I don't remmeber that either, but then I cheers'd the last drink to "bar pigs".

First cigarette of the night for me was rock bottom. It was rock bottom cause this group of hot girls come walking up to the bounder, looking all hot, and this fat moron with a stupid face goes up to me and says "watch this." What does he do? Says "sup ladies?" gets horribly shot down by all 5 of them, and then as they're walking in the door, he mutters "stupid sluts," and they all turn around and one of them looks at me and goes "we're not sluts just cause you can't get any from us." I go "I DIDN'T FUCKING SAY ANYTHING! IT WAS THIS MORON NEXT TO ME THAT WAS HITTING ON YOU AND FAILING!" They all then turn to him and give him a dirty, dirty look and walk away. He was like "gee, thanks for taking that bullet." I go "thanks for ruining my chances later on in the night." I then go to put my hand out and shake his hand and go "my name's Ramy." He goes "Opie, O-P-I-E." I respond "I know how to fucking spell that name. Are you fucking kidding me? What horrible person burdened you with that name?" paused for a moment, and then go, "nevermind, i don't wanna fucking know," and walked back into the bar.

After a bit, these 2 nasty girls start eying us like we're a all you can eat Arby's buffet and to liven up the mood and also possibly scare them away, I started dancing around, bumping my ass into Scott and Jose as they yell at me "what in the FUCK are you doing?"

Around this time, I went to take a piss break. Scott, I and this other guy were all pissing in the bathroom at the same time and just yelling unintelligable death cries like assholes at each other, laughing in between grunts and yells. People started walking in and were scared as to what the fuck was going on.

Also around this time, well, after the bathroom incident obviously, I see this drunk pig at the end of the bar, eyeing me, and eventually pointing me out to her friend. I told Scott the situation going down and then he looked over and the friend was waving us over. Scott went and I let him see what was going down as Jose and I sat there drinking and nodding our heads.

Then, I don't remember how it happened but me and Jose ended up over there and I started talking to the girl who was waving us over, Scott was talking to her friend and I am pretty sure Jose was talking to another friend... or some other drunk skag that was in the general area.

Around my first cigarette break from talking to this one girl I go up behind this Asian dude in a leather jacket and tell myself (or more like one of those little fucker voices in the back of my head told me) to fuck with this kid. Why? I dunno. I think cause I find Asians in leather jackets to be most amusing. I kinda make sure the 3 of his friends make eye contact with me as I nod to kinda let them know I'm gonna do something to their friend. I then grab him by the shoulders, start shaking him and go "HEY MAN! IT'S FUCKING YOU!!!! HOW YA DOING!?!?!?" He just had the most confused look on his face as his friends tried not laughing. He then went along, pretending to know me and i said something like "hey man, long time no see. We had a blast back in the day, no? Remember that time we just sat there throwing hot dogs at each others assholes?" His friends one by one lost it and then i eventually busted out laughing and was like "sorry dude, I was just trying to get by you and I'm drunk. I don't really know you," and then walked away hysterically laughing to myself.

But yea, back to the bar hussies. The three amigos that we were last night ended up all fixated on talking to the girls that were talking to us from that group of friends we infiltrated. The fat one came over, smiled at me, and I kinda just looked at her blankly, shoved her outta the way and was like "you're blocking my view, get outta here." Oh yea, and the whole time, the guys these girls with kept butting in and tried cock counter-cock blocking us (cause apparently they came to the bar with these girls and we just got all up in their shit and snatched the pussy out from under them. GO US!

I think towards the end of the night, the other friends not getting attention from us and the guys got fed up and wanted to go home. The girl didn't have a cell phone but basically begged all her friends for a pen and paper. I ended up writing my number down for her on some kinda jack daniels postcard. Classy, no? If she actually calls me, I'll be surprised... I don't even remember her giving me a name. Oh well, whatever. Not like I used to have girls names in my phone with nonsense names my friends and I like to make up such as "donkey tits" or "melty face" or "girl with the chin I met at bla bla bla bar".

SO, we got hungry and went to Papaya Dog. 2 of the 3 dudes working there were there the last time in there, when these drunk hispanic dudes kept trying to fight the staff there. I kinda said what's up to the black guy but he didn't remember me. The hispanic dude remembered me though and started laughing cause he must've remembered how I was just calling the guys trying to fight them animals and shit. Scott ordered us a feast. All i wanted was a kenish and he comes back with chili dogs, french fries and jalapeno poppers. I look at him and go "where's the fucking kenish, ass?" He just shoves the food in my face, and with a mouth full of hot dog goes "shut up and eat." Towards the end of our feast of feasts, these 3 hispanic girls were standing next to us and being all loud. Scott said something and then they were like "you're jealous cause we're all hot and not talking to you." I think Scott said something like "no, you're dumb, loud and spanish." Something similar to what I said to this hispanic girl at a bar once. Reaction to me? I get dragged out of the bar by a giant bouncer. Reaction Scott gets? Just them being all delusional about how we're hot for them and just being "haters" or some stupid shit. This went on and on and even included me and Jose getting our 2 cents in, making fun of them and shit.

We then hopped a cab ride back to where I parked the car. I broke my cell phone clip, thus pissing me off in the process, and giving me yet another reason that I cannot wait any longer to get a new cell phone. After we paid the cabbie (read that as Jose drunkenly attempted to figure out how to work the touch screen credit card charge machine in the cab) walked in the wrong direction in the beyond freezing cold for a while looking for the car, and eventually found it and headed home. Jose, of course, falls asleep in the back seat and I tried waking him up when I got to the area he said his car was in. I hope to God he found his car cause I just kinda dumped him in the middle of Harlem and drove off without asking if he knew where to go.

Then, my favorite part of the night. Getting Scott the fuck out of my car. I should have just filmed it this time, but instead, I tried a new method. Just soffocating him by holding his nose and mouth closed and screaming "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CAR!" He hit me to get me off him and I started shaking him like a magic 8 ball and yelling at him that I was tired and want to go to sleep. I really should have recorded this cause the shit coming out of his mouth was complete nonsense. Then he was saying shit like "you're home, take me home." I go "no, YOU are the one that is home, get the fuck out!" I think he finally left when I went to the ol' raining blows upon him with my fists routine.

I really should start filming that portion of the night to show people what I am the only person who gets to see and deal with. I could put them out on video, like one of those Time Life collections.

Reminders of Jersey

This past weekend has been quite a fucking intense and insane weekend.

Friday night, drove down to Roseland to meet my sister up since she got 2 tickets to catch AFI. Thanks to traffic and not being able to find a parking spot for an hour, I missed the Gallows' set. Show up and AFI was about to go one. Highlights of the show was they broke out Triple Zero really early on into their set (maybe it was the 4th or 5th song in the set). I fucking love how no one knows anything before their Sing the Sorrow album. A few years back I remember they played A Single Second and I was going ape shit in the pit like it was one of their early days hardcore shows, doing shit you'd always see at CB's or something back in the day. All I remember was some kid in pants so tight that his balls must've not had any circulation calling me an asshole... and then me roundhouse kicking that fucker to the floor. Anyway, yea. My sister was laughing at me when I let out a big "FUCK YES!" when they started playing Love is a Many Splendored Thing too. I fucking love that song and it's so old. But yea, only complaints I had about the show was the fact I hate seeing shows at Roseland now. I think the last time I enjoyed myself at a show there was the Misfits 25th Anniversary tour kick off show, and that was cause fucking Googy gave me and TJ vip passed and we hung out with J~Sin and JV upstairs in the VIP balcony til the Misfits went on. Also, you know what I loved? This DRUNK SLOB screaming her fucking lungs out every five seconds "DAVEY! I LOVE YOU!!! DAAAAVY!!!!" I started sarcastically yelling every time she would until her friend finally shut her up. I really had a good laugh to myself when I was walking back to my car to drive across town after the show was over. Why? About 2 blocks away from Roseland, I found that drunk slob passed out in a door way, huddled on the floor, doing that post-puke spitting up disgustingness. I looked at her and said "Yea, that's attractive," and kept on walking.

When I got to my car, I discovered Romil, Dennis, Dan, Ken and Lucas were at this place called Vero. Dennis gave me the wrong address and I walked around for a bit til I realized he told me a street above the street it was on. I show up and Dennis is hitting on two girls. I butted in and one of these girls kept reaching for my hat which was in my hand at the time. i was like "excuse me, what in the fuck are you doing?" She told me she wanted to know if it was a Yankees hat and I asked her if she was gonna not talk to me if it wasnt. My time at Vero was spent watching Dennis go girl to girl and not get anywhere as well as wait up for Jeff to meet me up. Jeff finally met us up and we left to go to Turtle Bay for a hot second to see if we could get a free beer or two since he used to work there. I REALLY hate that place now after that night. At first it was that I was annoyed, then bothered by the place, but now i just fucking hate it and everyone inside it. The bouncers giving me a hard time for NO reason. the bartenders just being so full of themselves (yea dude with the frosted tips, you're so fucking cool. I wanna be on your team you fucking waste of life). Oh, and the MONGOLOID GAVONE PIECE OF SHIT bouncer who gave me a hard time about wearing my hat. Yea, fuck you. I was told at the door to take my hat off when I go inside. I walk in and 3 people are standing right in front of me wearing their hats. I went into the bathroom right before I left and I put my hat on so I wouldn't have to hold it as I piss. As soon as I put it on, I hear this voice, a voice that could only have came out of some neanderthal, telling me to take my hat off when inside the bar. I turned around and was like "are you fucking kidding me? I'm taking a goddamn piss." The guy was like "I don't care." I look at him and go "I am not holding my hat in my dick hand and getting piss all over it in the process." He was like "I don't care, put it in your back pocket." I told him I am not bending the brim just so I could take a fucking piss and stood there watching him stare at me, and waiting for me to take my hat off. Eventually, I muttered "scumbag" and took my hat off when I realized he was just gonna stand there and probably drag me out as soon as I finished pissing. I put the hat under my arm and pissed .While doing this, this fucking ape-man starts gargling listerine all obnoxious-like, dousing himself in cologne and then taking cigarettes from the bathroom attendant and then having the nerve to give the attendant shit like "what the fuck are you looking at me like that for?" AS I left the bar this Cro-Magnon kept giving me this "i'm a tough guy" stare down at me as I just light my cigarette, staring at him and giving him a dirty look back, as I waited for Jeff and Romil to figure out what they wanted to do.

Romil went home and Jeff asked me to drop him off at his apartment. I then drove my ass downtown to meet up JV and Loki and whoever else they were with at Down the Hatch. I show up and it's drunken 21 year old after drunken 21 year old all over the place. Apparently it was Sam's friend's 21st b-day and she was SLOPPY by the time I showed up. Me and Loki just kept taking shot after shot of rumple minz as we bullshitted about this and that drinking our drinks. right before we all left, sam's friend went head firsst through the front door. Being outside smoking a cigarette, I hear this comotion and look down the stairs to the see this mess at the front door going on. She's on the floor and her friends are trying to help her up. All I could hear was "Nooooo. Dooooon't. Leave me, I'm happy." I couldn't stop laughing as her friends had to basically carry her out and down the street back to where ever she lives.

I somehow made it back home and fell asleep to try and get some sleep before work. I woke up and got to work Saturday morning. work was boring as shit. After work, I rushed home, took a shower, got changed and headed to Loki's to watch the fight. I showed up and no one was home. I woke up Chris who was pissed off cause he just got home from work and fell asleep and my dumb ass opens the front door, yelling "HELLLOOOOO!" and then going back outside and repeatedly ringing the front doorbell. Thinking back, I shoulda taken a picture of his face when he came down the stairs to ask me "what in the HELL are you doing?" I sat on the couch, nodding off to these 2 assholes on fox reviewing movies til Loki got home. He came back with a SHIT-TON of liquor (as seen below):



OK, so a few of those bottles were from prior to his booze run, but still, that's what a 300+ dollar shopping spree at the liquor store looks like. Loki ate his dinner he picked up and we all started drinking as people showed up like stragglers throughout the night. We got SHITTY! All I remember is we kept laughing at how drunk we all were. Unfortunately, I eventually passed the fuck out from only getting 3 hours sleep the night before and drinking myself stupid. I mean, it was a good idea anyway since I had to wake up early if I was gonna drive back to New York for work, and then BACK to Jersey after work on Sunday. Sadly, my sleep was short. Why? Loki decided around 2am to wake me up and force shots down my throat telling me "We're not going to sleep yet. We're still drinking. WAke up." I just kept kicking and screaming like a little child until they dragged me back to the table and I was propped up in a seat with drinks being thrown at me. Around 5am me and Bob both claimed the downstairs couches to sleep on. I fell asleep rambling God knows what as Loki and JV argued over whatever it was they were talking about that me and Bob kept butting into the convo of every now and then til we fell asleep. According to Bob, I fell asleep hugging some big framed photo of Loki as a child til Loki took it out of my hands. Why? I have no idea other than the fact it was on the couch I was sleeping on.

I woke up around 8am Sunday morning. staggered around the house looking for my shit, chasing the cat off my jacket and staggered out the door for a nice fun drive home filled with swerving and trying not to fall asleep behind the wheel. I got home, changed my clothes, dumped some cologne on me so I didn't smell like a bottle of rumple minz and then took off for work. I basically spent the entire day at work trying not to pass out. At one point I just locked myself in the bathroom. Put the lid down n the toilet, sat on it as a chair and used the handicapped handrail as a pillow and tried getting some sleep. I figured if anyone wondered, they'd think I was just backed up and dropping off some major Cosby kids off at the pool. This went on just about all day at work. By the time it was closing time I just bee-lined it outta there and back to the house for a shower and change. Right before I left for Jersey I stopped off at the Sunoco right next to the on ramp to I-87 in Ardsley to get some Monster energy drinks and sun chips to try and revive me. While wandering around the shop, Loki calls me, laughing as I answered cause he had to tell me Bob was complaining about how I woke him up cause of all the grunting I was doing earlier in the morning as I walked around the house. Loki told me they were headed to the club after we were going to hang up our phones and I decided to go straight to the club. I showed up, BSed with the guys outside, basically telling Loki, JV and Bob to all go to hell for how shitty I felt and then we headed inside.

When we walked in, the Bad Whoremoans were playing and maybe a song or two in after I walked in, this little kid sporting a devilock came up on stage with them to sing Where Eagles Dare (photo, by Loki, below):



After their set was done I started heading towards outside to have a cigarette until Shannyn, who I haven't seen in ages, grabs me and says hello. We talked for a bit. Then Jaymz who I haven't seen in even longer walks in and we shoot the shit until I finally say I wanna cigarette. went outside and BSed with even more people I hadn't seen in a while, filled with me and Ciccone yelling nonsense every now and then and laughing about stupid shit.

Eventually Darrow Chemical Company set was about ready so everyone headed back inside. Having been sitting there for most if not all of the process of that band, it was a nice to see JV finally got the lineup solidified and the songs all finished up and completed for the most part. They did a really good job and I think JV's goal of bringing good music back to the horror punk scene did it's job. Good shit.

Afterwards, Blitzkid came on and rocked the house too. I haven't seen them in a while and they played just as good as they ever did. Their new drummer is a fucking animal too. My only complaints about that part of the night was A) there was quite a few kids standing near me who needed to learn how to wash their asses. It smelt so bad like the swamp ass of someone who didn't wipe properly. Sooo gross. I seriously thought I was gonna pass out from the vile smell at points of their set. Another thing was the 3 skanky girls who basically spent the whole night trying to suck blitzkid's collective cocks.

After the show was over I went outside to smoke a cigarette which turned into just hanging out on the street with everyone til the club closed and we all ended up crossing the street to hang out at Dingo's for a few drinks. Ox bought a tray of jello shots for all of us. I didn't really drink cause I figured i'd pass the fuck out behind the wheel on my way home. Ox kept pumping the jukebox full of Misfits/Samhain/Danzig and then some other metal bands here and there like Pantera and Lamb of God. Despite the fact I was beyond delirious, exhausted and fighting gravity from making me collapse to the floor, I had a really good time and it made me realize how much I miss living in Jersey and hanging out with all these people at random house parties we all used to throw every once in a while.

After a while, we all headed our separate ways with some of us eventually heading back to Loki's as planned hours before when we left Dingbatz. I decided to follow JV and Sam back to Loki's since my navigation system has been on the fritz. Of course a giant truck cuts me off and when I finally get a change to go around it I start following the wrong car for a while til I finally catch up to it and realize it wasn't Sam's car but some random moron's. I then tried turning my navigation system on. After freezing up and keep fucking up it finally tells me how to get to Loki's from whatever God awful part of whatever God awful town I was in at that point. It ended up taking me on what I'd like to refer to as the scared straight version of a detour back to Loki's. It kept telling me to go down these random streets in Patterson that i was pretty sure would lead to me getting shot at or car jacked. Even better, my fucking navigation system kept telling me to fucking go the wrong way down one way streets. I had to basically sit tehre and try and figure out what street it was trying to get me to and find my own way to these streets. I eventually got a call from JV asking me where the hell I went and I told him where i was. Turns out I was apparently 10 miles from Loki's house if I took this long as fuck, dark as shit, road down passed fields and woods.

I showed up to Loki's as Germs was rolling up and we headed inside BSing with one another while Matt Johnson kept turning the volume on the tv louder and louder as JV and Germs argued over nonsense that I would butt in and instigate once in a while. We watched the video of the Darrow Chemical Company set that Keith video taped and then Loki kicked us out of his room to go to sleep. We went back downstairs, smoked a little and then eventually I decided to go home cause I knew I was not gonna get any sleep sleeping on that damn couch again and was gonna get woken up early by either Loki or Chris. Driving home really late at night, it sucked. From the Garden State exit to halfway across the Tappan Zee Bridge on 287 was a thick as shit fog filled with nothing but state trooper after state trooper just sitting along side the road. Then a few miles after the bridge was more fog. I evntually got home and PASSED THE FUCK OUT. I woke up to a plethora of texts that I didn't even see I got throughout the night and into this morning, and even afternoon. Tried replying back to some (ok, only the last 3 I got), tried to drag myself to the bathroom and realize I slept through the entire morning and didn't wake up to my alarm I set to wake me up and get me doing the shit I had to do today. And uh... yea. That sums up my day. Now, I gotta go write up a letter I have to fax out that I completely forgot to do earlier this week that's gotta be sent no later than midnight tonight.