The Freaks Come Out at Night

Me and Mike were walking down Rivington Street in the Lower East Side last night. A woman stops her car, gets out and asks us for help. We're like "ummm... ok? What's the matter?" in horribly broken english, she tells us she just got her drivers license and she can't parallel park. Me and Mike look at each other in a shock/awe way and I say sure. I get in the car and it is filled with 3 or 4 little kids yelling in Spanish. I turn around and see all these kids and go "what up?" and start parking the car for her. I then got out, walked back to the sidewalk across the way where Mike was standing with the woman and then we wandered off. Quite possibly the most awkward thing that's happened to me in NYC as of late.

THEN, we get to Delancy. We stop at the Burger King over there. Mike's getting ready to order his food. I'm standing to the side where there's 3 kids. This guy who looked like he was all kinds of fucked up on booze and/or drugs just barges in, and starts getting in faces asking if anyone needs to use the bathroom. Starts pounding his fists on the bathroom door and then turns around and says something like "Anyone need to use the bathroom? I'm gonna be in there a loooong time." People sitting down eating were even giving each other weird looks in response to that statement. As soon as an employee unlocked the bathroom door for the guy me, mike and the 3 kids standing around all just look at each other and go "what the fuck?" We all start laughing. As Mike was about to get his food, the guy came barging out of the bathroom with his head soaking wet and just started power walking to the front door.

I think those were the only real highlights of randomness. OH, that and when we got to the bar, Mike went to the bathroom and as I was turning around to walk back to the table where Arielle and her friends were sitting this gay pizza delivery guy came in to drop off a pizza and he and I both got ran down by some loon who just started shoving into each of us seperately as he went for the door outta the bar. I wish I could remember exactly what the gay pizza delivery guy said but I can't... but it was fucking hilarious and I started laughing my ass off as soon as he started going off on the guy.

Oh, and San Loco was had. Sweet glorious San Loco. I hadn't had any in a while and it had been mentioned several times lately. Starting with Dan ranting about it at Wiseman's birthday party (and he eventually left to go get some, which I should have joined him in doing) and then again it was brought up how I met some people up there one time cause that's where they met for the first time... I think. I dunno. Whatever, it's like a tradition this couple. Anyway, Mike asked me if it was nearby. I said I only really know where the one on 4th avenue is exactly and that all i know is there's another one in the LES but I was not sure where. He looked it up on google maps on his phone and we discovered it was literally around the corner from where we were. We got some good food, ate in the car, headed west. Pissed and had a drink at the Slaughtered Lamb (haven't been in there in ages). It was crowded and there was this not that good looking waitress with her asshole basically hanging out of her shorts that I couldn't stop staring at. There was also a bartender with her tits falling out that I could not stop staring at whenever she was in my line of vision. After that, we got fat some more on Joe's pizza. Some guy saw me dumping garlic powder all over my slices and goes "Jesus, man!" I looked at him and go "what? I fucking like garlic. At least you know I'm not a vampire," and then left to head back to the car with Mike. Speaking of garlic and being anti-vampires, there was this guy walking down Rivington St that decided to show he was anti-twilight with a garlic bandoleer:



So fucking random.

But yea, that was the gist of last night. Throw in me and Mike listening to Initium a bunch of times on ye olde cassette tape and that's basically last night in a nutshell. Well, that and Mike playing Transformers soundboards off his cell phone, him switching it up between meowing at people while wearing my "cat-head" mask and yelling GI Joe/Cobra related nonsense while wearing my Cobra Commander helmet that I had both of in my back seat as I drove to the FDR to go home.

Oh yea, and if anyone used to save my old blogs (anything written/posted before January 24th, 2009) please lemme know. I wanna compile my old ones together and go through them, but I don't have them saved anywhere. I know some of you weirdos used to save them cause some of you told me you saved them. Well, here I am calling you out for having em and me wanting em. So lemme know. I rarely if ever go on myspace anymore and wanna transfer all my old blogs elsewhere(in fact, the only reason I went on this last time was to post something similar to this request on there in a bulletin that will go unnoticed since everyone is head over heels for facebook these days).

Oh yea... and the amount of half naked vagina that was strutting around the LES last night? OH MY FREAKING GOD! So much. So hot. I think I got herpes just looking at them. At one point me and Mike saw what I refered to as the "hoochie fa hoochie parade". Christ. I gotta start hanging out down there on weekends again. I haven't really hung out a lot down there since I was like 21 or 22.