So, after work I went home to walk into the bathroom and discover a layer of ice had formed in the toilet. I took quick and swift care of that with my dick (I pissed all over that fucker til it melted). Packed up some shit into a duffle bag (I seriously need to look into a new duffle bag, maybe that's how I'll spend my day at work today, looking for a new one). Where the hell was I going with this? Oh yea, duffle bag packed, threw some clothes on, hopped in my mom's car and she dropped me off at TJ's... which, as we were driving down the street, noticed lights coming on in the houses on my block. (I later found out the lights are the ONLY thing to come back on. Dunno if heat is back yet, but phones, cable and internet are SHIT from what I'm told).
Whatever, went to Tj's sat around drinking a few beers, telling Evan the girl he's gonna meet up smells like farts while he played Super Mario, watched TJ eat coconut shrimp his sister made for him, and eventually went on our merry way to the Bogota VFW that the Doomsday Prophecy was playing at.
We rolled up and hung out outside with a few of the guys and eventually helped them in so TJ could sneak in without having to pay (I on the other hand, drunkenly harassed JV to give me a ticket when we were all hanging out at Loki's for the superbowl a few weeks back). But yea, upon enterting, it was your standard VFW crowd. You know, kids you know should not be walking around with red cups full of beer from the bar in there, kids wearing shit like basketball shorts and a band shirt that flat out says "FUCK YOU" across the back. Lots of gyrations that are called "dancing" these days. Lots of bands with their chugga-chugga and their woo woo's! I dunno. If you've ever been to a VFW show lately, you know what I mean. The bands were good, but you know...
Before I go on, I must say the bar in that VFW was the bar that time forgot. It was like stepping into a portal to the Vietnam War, or possibly right after it. The place had this heinous wallpaper straight out of the late 60s/early 70s. Parts of it looked like it was an old Vietnamese hut, there was tinsel everywhere, and I swear to God there was dust on some of the bottles in that joint. I also swear the girl bartending was giving me water and telling me it was gin. She kept staring at me, but I wasn't gonna hit on her cause she had this look to her that just let you know she was a bitchy pain in the fucking ass when she's not working.
Two things happend during the DP set (dude, their initials are DP... being billed as double penetration would be a hilarious name for a secret show). But yea, things... First blood was drawn. Some kid nailed into Lindsay during one of the first songs, causing her to spill beer all over the floor. This lead to the plot of this kid's nose getting smashed the fuck open when he slipped on it and blood gushed this way and that.
This guy running the show came out mopping up the blood and TJ came up with the genius idea to start mock-mopping and pretending he's making up new dance moves to perform while the guys were playing.
Um... oh yea, and this kid who wants to fight JV showed up cause apparently Bogota is "his turf" or some shit? I dunno, all I know is he has "beef" with JV over some seriosuly petty shit that JV doesn't give two shits about. His posse was 3 girl. One more troll of women than the next. They all just stood near the area JV was playing bass near, staring at him with disgruntled faces apparently. From what I'm told, the one that's this kid's sister spit at JV and Eric's dad saw this and grabbed her and was like "what the FUCK are you doing?" and was asking "why in the hell would you spit at someone?" JV at one point between songs, called the kid out and was like "there's these people standing over here, staring at me, trying to fight me or something and I'm pretty sure most of the people in this room would love to jump in on a fight if one broke out with you." The kid and the 3 girls walked off and then came back again doing the same lame "i'm tough, I'm gonna beat you up" fucking BULLSHIT. This time, the kid started walking towards where JV was playing and Ed just told the kid to fuck off. The kid started walking closer and Ed smacked the beer right out of the kids hand and told him to fuck off again, followed by Eric's dad basically grabbing this kid by the neck and dragging him out of the VFW.
The girls stuck around and just sat there staring while Ed and Eric's dad just stood there in front of them staring back telling em to get the fuck out if they weren't there to see the show. Seriously, these mongoloids paid 12 bucks each to be fucking grade A morons who aren't intimidating at all (one of them looked like her hobbies included combing the tails of her My Little Ponies), to then only realize that they are also out sized, out classed and out numbered.
Load out included the sister walking over and just straight up standing there and staring at JV as he waited for Brian to roll the van around to load the shit into followed by Ed going "OH SHIT! SHE WANTS TO EAT YOU!" and "Does he look like a big mac to you? stop staring at him."
This nonsense continued more when we went to the bar down the block after everything was said and done. How so? Captian I'm gonna show up to a concert and stand there like a jackass was at the bar. Apparently Lindsay and Jojo were just fed up with these kids so they went up to him and go "there he is, right there. There's JV. Go beat him up." the kid was like "nah... you're lying. that's not him." (Yea, it was some other dude with long hair, a goatee, tattoos and a danzig hoodie on). I assume the kid left through the backdoor cause I don't think he walked past the lot of us hanging out near the end of the bar closest to the front of the place (There was about 15 to 20 of us, ontop of the dudes that came over to drink with us that I had no clue who they were, getting drunk and rowdy in that joint now that I think of it... sweet lord).
A lot of the night included dancing like a jackass. People yelling for me to watch out before I got nailed in the head with a dart from people playing darts and um... I dunno, more drunken jackassery.
The last thing I remember before waking up in TJ's driveway was me dragging Deirdre over to this guy I kept calling Mr Tomasides (cause he looked like my middle school's old band teacher who inturn, looked like a fucking retard and a half). So yea, dragged Deirdre against her will towards this guy and made her pretend to hit on him for my own amusement, yes I'm a horrible person who wanted a quick laugh at making deirdre hit on some guy against her will and watching as him perk up with excitement thinking an attractive woman was actually interested in him. Then I dragged her to this big black girl I kept calling Kool-Aid cause she was wearing this big purple shirt which kept causing me to yell over and over again "WATER! SUGAR! PURPLE! THAT'S KOOL-AID!" She was gonna ask if she was one of Oprah's friends or something. I dunno, Deirdre kept rambling on about how she looked like someone on the Oprah show or her friend or her I don't know the fuck what. Regardless, that was short lived and resulted in both of us heading back to our seats at the bar.
We eventually left, and all else I remeber was I kept repeating the repetative part of Mistadobalina by Del the Funky Homosapien.
Oh, and waking up, getting dressed, and then heading to this shit hole to waste time typing this shit up.
Oh, and Germs moved to Texas for a little bit? I was informed? I think me being informed about the party was "why did you never get back to me." - Me "There was a big party at Brian's." - Loki "oh, ok." - Me. If that constitues for being invited to Germs' going away party then... I dunno what. I'm gonna have to find out his address and mail him out obscure and retarded things like pictures of me with a bottle of gin playing Call of Duty and CD-Rs of nothing but me going "Meow, what are you doing?"
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Fuck This Weather
So, I got a ride to work when I probably didn't have to show up today. Why am I here? A) I get paid to fuck around and do dick all day here. B) I HAVE NO FUCKING POWER IN MY HOUSE. It is like an ice box.
Thank the beyond shitty weather for all of this.
Thursday, around 10am, I was driving home from Harlem. Well, first of all, I drove into Harlem around 7am and it was already starting to snow. 10am's drive home included people driving like retards, assholes and utter morons. I got home and started shoveling. AS soon as I was done shoveling, I turned around to see that the entire walkway and driveway wre covered as if I didn't shovel a damn thing. I cursed at the sky, threw my shovel at the wall in the front of my house and stormed inside muttering angry rants to myself.
Made myself some soup and passed the fuck out. Woke up to texts and an alarm for something I was watching on ebay. fell asleep. Woke up around 3, made more soup, fell back asleep... As you can see, I made the most out of my Thursday.
At around 9 or so, Scott was saying for me to walk down to his house. I think around 10 or so at night I finally got my ass out of bed, opened the door and took a step into the snow. That's when I realized there's more stairs to my front door than I saw , and I was about knee deep in snow. Cursed that I got snow in my shoe, grabbed the shovel that I had thrown at the wall earlier and started to dig my ass out. I got to the driveway when I realize the neighbor's house had a tree down in their yard and driveway. I also had the pleasure of said neighbor pulling up to their house from work to discover this. He drove by once, stopped, stared, drove away, came back, from another angle, stared, and then drove off to the font of his house and parked on the grass (he lives on a corner driveway is on my street, front yard is on the other street).
After hearing trees falling all over and the tree in my front yard cracking and branches starting to come down, I realize I was not gonna walk to his house (seeing an orange glow that I'm sure was a generator on fire and seeing blue flashes in the sky also helped my judgement on not going too). Good thing I didn't go anyway, cause an hour later Scott said his power went out.
Woke up at 8am Friday morning. made breakfast. Shoveled. 4 hours later and 5 hardcore albums on my ipod later, I shoveled an assload of snow out of my driveway and got my mom's car dug out (ok, so I would pause during some sick breakdowns in the songs I was listening to so that I could play the shovel like a guitar and thrash around til the breakdowns were said and done... seriously must've creeped out the neighbors).
Came in for some lunch and Scott texted me saying he was gonna come with a bottle of booze attached to his neck like a St Bernard to get drunk and play Call of Duty with me. I showered, shaved and let Scott in cause we got some sick timing. We played for maybe an hour or so when we heard a loud explosions followed by the power going out. Power came back on a few seconds later, followed by an even louder explosion which was thus followed by the power going out, for good.
From there, we wandered. Scott and I cut through the Cemetary to get to his house. Cutting across fields of nothing but snow was a bad idea. Our ideas on how to get across were worse:
Here, you see Scott's attempt at ROLLING across the cemetary. I laughed at him, but my idea to crawl was even worse. Face first in snow, struggling to get out of this frozen quicksand leading to soggy ground full of the dead. Gross and horrible.
We eventually got out of there alive and walked down to his house for some snacks and to see if Scott had power back. Nope. Started walking and ran into Dash. Ended up fucking around in front of his house, helped him shovel his car out, and laughed some more. Forgot how hilarious the kid is and Scott and I agreed we should see Cop Out cause of such (he plays a hispanic drug dealer that gets his ass beat by Bruce Willis in that movie).
Eventually, we got hungry, left back for Scott's house and got his mom's car. We then went to venture for food and realized Burger King was open. Scott started yelling that he wished the whole town could be cleared out and have power like Burger King.
While in there, we over heard 2 Con Ed employees laughing about people in my town trying to stop them and them just waving back and driving off laughing. I did not care when I whipped my Sick of it All scarf around my neck violently causing it to what I hope resulted in an obnoxious smack to the guy's head/face.
Scott then dropped me off back at my house cause we were gonna meet up Jose and Britany since she was back visiting from Canada again. What resulted was me taking a shower in the dark, yelling about cold water, falling all over the place trying to get dressed with nothing but a flashlight the size of a pencil to shed some lightin the room (seriously, look at this thing):
(Yes, it says budwiser. Me and Tj got these for free at some bar somewhere a few months back).
Oh, and doing my hair up in the dark? fucking classic. For someone who couldn't see shit i did a pretty damn good job doing my hair up all nice-like. Must be my ginzo powers.
Scott got me and we drove around scouting out the roads to make sure we could get to the bar and back, etc, while waiting for Merideth to get her ass in gear for us to go out.
Apparently Jose and Brittany both bailed on us but 2 of Merideth's friends showed up. Ron Black's was closed and that annoyed us cause we ended up going to the Brazen Fox aka sleaze bag city (which is sad since the other bars on that block are even worse. Black Bear is like a scene out of a Jersey Shore episode most of the time).
Whatever. A few gins here, a few shots of jager there, shit was picking up. Highlights of weirdness? I was walking to the bathroom and this drunk girl dancing by herself in the hallway to the bathrooms sees me, stops dancing, jumps in front of the men's bathroom door and goes "you wanna go to the bathroom, don't you?" I replied with something along the lines of "either that or I like hanging out in empty hallways that lead to bathrooms." She told me we had to have a danceoff to see if I could get in or not. I shook my ass a few times and did some Michael Jackson-esq kick and she was like "ok, fine." as I opened the door, this guy washing his hands turn his head and see what I guess was his girlfriend dancing behind me following me into the bathroom. He was like "What the HELL!" and started yelling about dancing with his girlfriend and chased her out of the bathroom. This guy in there beside me and I just looked at each other and I shrugged my shoulders and went off to piss.
Another bathroom incident, even weirder, consisted of me going in there while some dude was washing his hands. this time, he started whistling as I was walking towards urinal. Then, he goes to a urinal near me and starts whistling to get my attention. I forced myself to piss as hard and fast as possible, did minimal shakage, and then bee-lined it out of there.
Another incident included me and a few other people smoking outside fucking with these guys trying to park their car in this spot their car couldn't fit in. And then, for some reason, I got 2 of the guys and 1 girl outside start quoting Danny Devito's lines from Batman Returns. Basically, got them all going "QUACK, GET IN THE DUCK!"
Final random occurance to happen before I went home? This girl starts STARING at me, HARD as she walked outside for a second shortly after the whole "get in the duck" part of the night. I'm like "why is this bitch just grilling me?" Turns out it was this girl, better known as "THE SKUNK" that grew up near me. She's known as the skunk cause all the kids on the school bus would make fun of how she smelled and would try and cover it up with her mom's perfume, causing her to smell WORSE! and leading to gang choruses of the entire bus singing shit like "ol' McDonald had a skunk" and so on and so forth (God, causing childhood mental scars are fun, aren't they?) Anyway, yea, so I realized who it was and smirked and then started laughing, basically in her face as she walked away. I pointed her out to Scott later when she came back in (cause she apparently met up the girls at the booth behind where I was sitting) and we giggled like little girls muttering "skunk!" back and forth to one another in low volumes.
That was pretty much my night cause Scott and/or Merideth wanted to go home early (which I obviously complained about not wanting to go home so early). I got dropped off, stumbled into the dark as fuck kitchen, used my flashlight to find a jar of peanut butter and some bread. I was gonna go for the jelly, but didn't wanna open the fridge since either A) I'd be drunk and leave it open like a jackass causing everything to go bad even faster, and B) I was fucking too lazy. So, I made a nice peanut butter and peanut butter sandwich. Ate it on the stagger to my room, walking into walls and shit. fell a few times getting undressed and then dressed into my sweats and GNR hoodie I found by feeling around my closet like a blind fuck, and then went to sleep cocooned in my faux down blanket (my sister really scored big time finding these vegan friendly faux blankets at some store, they're not rediculously bulky and yet they're warm as fuck!
So, this morning, I woke up, saw the police line at the end of my block was finally down cause someone fixed the downed power lines, the road was clear cause of the plows being able to finally come down my street, and there was a wall of ice and snow at the end of my driveway. Looked at my car (still buried in snow) and told my mom I needed a ride. I hacked and chopped a path for my mom's car, took her car, Floored it in reverse, sending it flying into the and spinning on ice, evned it out, told her to drive since she needed the car, adn then went to work.
The town is like a frozen version of Mad Max. chaos. Streets closed, makeshift stop signs at busy intersections where there's no power to the traffic lights, mounds of snow where cars were parked on the sides of roads, etc.
Fucking ridiculous. I gotta stay at TJ's tonight cause hell if I'm staying in an ice box for a house... and did I mention, when I called Con Ed this morning, you get an automated voice telling you power will not be restored to my area until Tuesday the earliest? Fucking FANTASTIC!
Thank the beyond shitty weather for all of this.
Thursday, around 10am, I was driving home from Harlem. Well, first of all, I drove into Harlem around 7am and it was already starting to snow. 10am's drive home included people driving like retards, assholes and utter morons. I got home and started shoveling. AS soon as I was done shoveling, I turned around to see that the entire walkway and driveway wre covered as if I didn't shovel a damn thing. I cursed at the sky, threw my shovel at the wall in the front of my house and stormed inside muttering angry rants to myself.
Made myself some soup and passed the fuck out. Woke up to texts and an alarm for something I was watching on ebay. fell asleep. Woke up around 3, made more soup, fell back asleep... As you can see, I made the most out of my Thursday.
At around 9 or so, Scott was saying for me to walk down to his house. I think around 10 or so at night I finally got my ass out of bed, opened the door and took a step into the snow. That's when I realized there's more stairs to my front door than I saw , and I was about knee deep in snow. Cursed that I got snow in my shoe, grabbed the shovel that I had thrown at the wall earlier and started to dig my ass out. I got to the driveway when I realize the neighbor's house had a tree down in their yard and driveway. I also had the pleasure of said neighbor pulling up to their house from work to discover this. He drove by once, stopped, stared, drove away, came back, from another angle, stared, and then drove off to the font of his house and parked on the grass (he lives on a corner driveway is on my street, front yard is on the other street).
After hearing trees falling all over and the tree in my front yard cracking and branches starting to come down, I realize I was not gonna walk to his house (seeing an orange glow that I'm sure was a generator on fire and seeing blue flashes in the sky also helped my judgement on not going too). Good thing I didn't go anyway, cause an hour later Scott said his power went out.
Woke up at 8am Friday morning. made breakfast. Shoveled. 4 hours later and 5 hardcore albums on my ipod later, I shoveled an assload of snow out of my driveway and got my mom's car dug out (ok, so I would pause during some sick breakdowns in the songs I was listening to so that I could play the shovel like a guitar and thrash around til the breakdowns were said and done... seriously must've creeped out the neighbors).
Came in for some lunch and Scott texted me saying he was gonna come with a bottle of booze attached to his neck like a St Bernard to get drunk and play Call of Duty with me. I showered, shaved and let Scott in cause we got some sick timing. We played for maybe an hour or so when we heard a loud explosions followed by the power going out. Power came back on a few seconds later, followed by an even louder explosion which was thus followed by the power going out, for good.
From there, we wandered. Scott and I cut through the Cemetary to get to his house. Cutting across fields of nothing but snow was a bad idea. Our ideas on how to get across were worse:
Here, you see Scott's attempt at ROLLING across the cemetary. I laughed at him, but my idea to crawl was even worse. Face first in snow, struggling to get out of this frozen quicksand leading to soggy ground full of the dead. Gross and horrible.
We eventually got out of there alive and walked down to his house for some snacks and to see if Scott had power back. Nope. Started walking and ran into Dash. Ended up fucking around in front of his house, helped him shovel his car out, and laughed some more. Forgot how hilarious the kid is and Scott and I agreed we should see Cop Out cause of such (he plays a hispanic drug dealer that gets his ass beat by Bruce Willis in that movie).
Eventually, we got hungry, left back for Scott's house and got his mom's car. We then went to venture for food and realized Burger King was open. Scott started yelling that he wished the whole town could be cleared out and have power like Burger King.
While in there, we over heard 2 Con Ed employees laughing about people in my town trying to stop them and them just waving back and driving off laughing. I did not care when I whipped my Sick of it All scarf around my neck violently causing it to what I hope resulted in an obnoxious smack to the guy's head/face.
Scott then dropped me off back at my house cause we were gonna meet up Jose and Britany since she was back visiting from Canada again. What resulted was me taking a shower in the dark, yelling about cold water, falling all over the place trying to get dressed with nothing but a flashlight the size of a pencil to shed some lightin the room (seriously, look at this thing):
(Yes, it says budwiser. Me and Tj got these for free at some bar somewhere a few months back).
Oh, and doing my hair up in the dark? fucking classic. For someone who couldn't see shit i did a pretty damn good job doing my hair up all nice-like. Must be my ginzo powers.
Scott got me and we drove around scouting out the roads to make sure we could get to the bar and back, etc, while waiting for Merideth to get her ass in gear for us to go out.
Apparently Jose and Brittany both bailed on us but 2 of Merideth's friends showed up. Ron Black's was closed and that annoyed us cause we ended up going to the Brazen Fox aka sleaze bag city (which is sad since the other bars on that block are even worse. Black Bear is like a scene out of a Jersey Shore episode most of the time).
Whatever. A few gins here, a few shots of jager there, shit was picking up. Highlights of weirdness? I was walking to the bathroom and this drunk girl dancing by herself in the hallway to the bathrooms sees me, stops dancing, jumps in front of the men's bathroom door and goes "you wanna go to the bathroom, don't you?" I replied with something along the lines of "either that or I like hanging out in empty hallways that lead to bathrooms." She told me we had to have a danceoff to see if I could get in or not. I shook my ass a few times and did some Michael Jackson-esq kick and she was like "ok, fine." as I opened the door, this guy washing his hands turn his head and see what I guess was his girlfriend dancing behind me following me into the bathroom. He was like "What the HELL!" and started yelling about dancing with his girlfriend and chased her out of the bathroom. This guy in there beside me and I just looked at each other and I shrugged my shoulders and went off to piss.
Another bathroom incident, even weirder, consisted of me going in there while some dude was washing his hands. this time, he started whistling as I was walking towards urinal. Then, he goes to a urinal near me and starts whistling to get my attention. I forced myself to piss as hard and fast as possible, did minimal shakage, and then bee-lined it out of there.
Another incident included me and a few other people smoking outside fucking with these guys trying to park their car in this spot their car couldn't fit in. And then, for some reason, I got 2 of the guys and 1 girl outside start quoting Danny Devito's lines from Batman Returns. Basically, got them all going "QUACK, GET IN THE DUCK!"
Final random occurance to happen before I went home? This girl starts STARING at me, HARD as she walked outside for a second shortly after the whole "get in the duck" part of the night. I'm like "why is this bitch just grilling me?" Turns out it was this girl, better known as "THE SKUNK" that grew up near me. She's known as the skunk cause all the kids on the school bus would make fun of how she smelled and would try and cover it up with her mom's perfume, causing her to smell WORSE! and leading to gang choruses of the entire bus singing shit like "ol' McDonald had a skunk" and so on and so forth (God, causing childhood mental scars are fun, aren't they?) Anyway, yea, so I realized who it was and smirked and then started laughing, basically in her face as she walked away. I pointed her out to Scott later when she came back in (cause she apparently met up the girls at the booth behind where I was sitting) and we giggled like little girls muttering "skunk!" back and forth to one another in low volumes.
That was pretty much my night cause Scott and/or Merideth wanted to go home early (which I obviously complained about not wanting to go home so early). I got dropped off, stumbled into the dark as fuck kitchen, used my flashlight to find a jar of peanut butter and some bread. I was gonna go for the jelly, but didn't wanna open the fridge since either A) I'd be drunk and leave it open like a jackass causing everything to go bad even faster, and B) I was fucking too lazy. So, I made a nice peanut butter and peanut butter sandwich. Ate it on the stagger to my room, walking into walls and shit. fell a few times getting undressed and then dressed into my sweats and GNR hoodie I found by feeling around my closet like a blind fuck, and then went to sleep cocooned in my faux down blanket (my sister really scored big time finding these vegan friendly faux blankets at some store, they're not rediculously bulky and yet they're warm as fuck!
So, this morning, I woke up, saw the police line at the end of my block was finally down cause someone fixed the downed power lines, the road was clear cause of the plows being able to finally come down my street, and there was a wall of ice and snow at the end of my driveway. Looked at my car (still buried in snow) and told my mom I needed a ride. I hacked and chopped a path for my mom's car, took her car, Floored it in reverse, sending it flying into the and spinning on ice, evned it out, told her to drive since she needed the car, adn then went to work.
The town is like a frozen version of Mad Max. chaos. Streets closed, makeshift stop signs at busy intersections where there's no power to the traffic lights, mounds of snow where cars were parked on the sides of roads, etc.
Fucking ridiculous. I gotta stay at TJ's tonight cause hell if I'm staying in an ice box for a house... and did I mention, when I called Con Ed this morning, you get an automated voice telling you power will not be restored to my area until Tuesday the earliest? Fucking FANTASTIC!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Gone With the Sanity
Well, last night I narrowly escaped death... again.
What happened? About 2 or so hours into us sitting around waiting for a tow truck, Scott put it best. "This is like Pee-Wee's Big Adventure where he wakes up and the fortune for the day says "do not go outside," and he just shrugs it off and goes out anyway. Yea. What happened? Well, let's see. The whole day consisted of me taking full advantage of my day off. In reality, all I did was lay there like an animal you find dying on the side of the road and switching it up between watching horrible television and playing Call of Duty.
Eventually, Scott got back to me about wanting to go out cause he got tired of waiting for a response to his plans. Ian also called and said he wanted to hang out. Among trying to figure a plan out with Scott, we came up with "THE WHEEL OF ALCOHOLISM!" Basially it's a like the wheel from the wheel of fortune, but instead of money, it's gonna be bars we always go to. It's gonna be for those nights, like last night, where we can't decide where to go. We ended up deciding to go to the Stumble Inn cause we never been in there since they changed Moe's Carribian into that place and wanted to check it out (also since we haven't been in that neck of the woods in a whiles). But yea, NONE of our plans went into action last night. We got to Ian's, picked him up, hopped on the West Side highway and I passed the exit for 79th street. Scott pointed it out to me, and I said to shut up. I turned around at 56th street and got back on the Westside highway. As I'm coming up to pass the onramp right before the offramp for 79th street, I notice this car is NOT stopping at the stop sign before getting on the highway. No, he did not have any sense of caring that a car going 60+ miles per hour (knowing me, probably closer to mid to high 70s) was barreling down at him. I slammed on the breaks and started honking as my ABS kicked in. Well, it had to work over time cause while skidding to avoid hitting the guy who cut me off, I hit a patch of black ice and KEPT skidding even farther. To add insult to what I thought was inevitable injury was that this MORON started slowing down, meaning I was still flying into him and instead of speeding up like he should have done in the first place if he was gonna jump out in front of me, he slowed down to make it more probable that I'd hit him.
Eventually, I got around this guy and veered off onto the off ramp for 79th street. As I hit the breaks to slow down around the bend, I realized a lack of break pressure and that we were NOT slowing down AT ALL. I calmly say to Scott and Ian, "I have no breaks... I. Have. NO. Breaks. Dude... the breaks aren't working." Scott and Ian kinda look at each othere not thinking it was too serious until I slammed on the parking break and it was not slowing us down in time to not go through the stop sign into traffic. Even worse, the after barreling through that stop sign with Scott, Ian and I now freaking out bad, we realized we were propper fucked when we had to blow through a light where a busy Riverside drive was the cross street, us 3 embracing for impact into a car from one of the 3 directions ahead of us. We ended up going up the hill on 79th street and I pulled the car over after some car almost hit us, honking wildly at us, and threw the car into park as we slowed down going up the hill. The 3 of us just looked at each other, said, "what the fuck?" and then tried to figure out what the hell had happened and how we did not get hit by one oncoming car that entire run the highway to the part of the hill that stopped us (mind you, Manhattan is almost COMPELTELY flat land and the odds of there being a hill are slim to none. I can only imagine how bad of an accident we'd have gotten into had it been a flat straight away after getting off the highway.
Ok, so this is 11pm that this all happened. We all got out of the car and decided to pop the hood to see if there was any break fluid since there was no pressure on the break. There was NONE. I made Scott ask the doorman at the building we were parked in front of if he knew where to get break fluid as I had Ian looking up places on his cell phone to call and see if they had any either. After Scott wandering the local streets and Ian failing at finding a place near by, the two of them hopped a cab to some mechanic up in the high 90s on broadway. Apparently they dealt with the worst salesman ever. They asked the guy for 2 bottles of break fluid just to make sure in case there was a leak we'd have a spare bottle to have. The guy goes "nah... I think you just need one." The two of them replied back with something like "we'd feel safer with two. Just give us two bottles, ok?"
They showed up back at the car, I popped the hood, we poured an entire bottle of break fluid into the car. Noticed it was going down a little. Then, we crawled under the car to see a gyser of break fluid streaming like water from a faucet out of the break line. Around this time, I threw my arms in the air and started yelling anger.
I called my mom for the second time. The first time, I tried explaining to her the whole situation to let her know I may need the roadside assistance info. What that turned into was me yelling at her for not listening to me and hanging the phone up on her (yes ladies, and I'm single too). She called the roadside assistance for me, and then called me back complaining how she can't stand dealing with outsourced companies with people who can barely speak English. What happened next? I get a phone call from the roadside company with the same lady saying she got a call saying that I needed a tow. I swear to God, I wanted to murder this woman for not understanding a word I was saying. I'd talk slow, I'd talk loud... I would be punching the roof of my car followed by thrashing in agony at how ridiculous it was that this woman could not get simple instructions down right. I kept telling her I wanted the car towed to this town outside of manhattan in Westchester County. She thought the town's name was the name of the street and I would go "no, it's in New York, the state." She goes "new york city?" Shit like that, over and over as Ian and Scot laughed at me flipping the fuck out.
What happened next was the most mind numbing waiting game ever. Basically the woman with the horrible accent said the tow truck would be there by 2am. From 12 to Well after 3 when the guy finally rolled up was the 3 of us sitting in the car losing our minds. Eventually, we all lost it and were just laughing at the stupidest things. We had all finally snapped. I wish I recorded some of our antics and nonsense conversations, but whatever.
When the guy showed up, Ian hopped in a cab back to his apartment, and Scott and I had the pleasure of riding with this guy, couldn't be that much older than us, blasting whatever was on the radio, as we shook violently whenever the damn thing would go faster than 50 miles per hour (the dude obviously had a fucked tire or a bent axle and would just ignore it as Scott and I felt like our brains were being violently shooken from our skulls). The best part of the guy taking the car back off the flatbed he had? He forgot there was no breaks and almost plowed into some car he tried parking my car behind. I got out of the truck after filling out all this info for him, and see the car is in the middle of the road, sideways. He goes "oops. Forgot about the breaks til the last minute, had to swerve the car.
The fucking towing fee was over 200 bucks, fuck me.
Ontop of that, Scott and I started walking through two til my mom got the two of us. I didn't get home til around 4:30am and usually when that happens, it means it was a long night out drinking. Not last night obviously.
INTERMISSION
(Feel free to grab some snacks and drinks)
Thursday night. Oh Thursday night. Scott and I were bored, but didn't know what to do. It turned into deciding to go to Down the Hatch. Reasoning? We wanted to see if the girl with giant cans was working. If not, at least there'd be some loose NYU girls probably slutting it up in there. Scott called Mike Dani, Jose and then texted TJ since him and Dennis were in the city already. Mike and Jose declined. and TJ and Dennis said they'd meet us up later.
We showed up and realized all drinks were 3 dollars all night. Looked at each other and Scott said "guess we're not gonna have to worry about spending too much money anyway." LIE! WE both blew about 60 to 80 bucks each (fucking shot after shot is what got us). Highlights. Two of us are sitting at the bar, drinking and talking. This MESS of a girl just shoves herself right between us and shoves us apart. First she starts talking to Scott. Then to me. I really wish I bashed her even more than I started to. Eh, whatever. While she was talking to Scott, I spit my gum out onto the bar table top. I then placed it on a beer coaster and kept trying to slide it under her arm or hand while Scott kept her distracted by keeping the inane convo going. Eventually, I started taking lemon and lime slices and placing them about her. The bartender saw this and took everything off the table when I left for the bathroom at one point. The best was, I guess around the time I was in the bathroom, one of the bartenders asked Scott if he knew this girl. Scott's reply was a very violent headshaking to imply his answer was a "no". The girl would not go away til I started saying something along the lines of her being a rude disgusting person and between that and Scott's ignoring her, she realized she was not welcome near us.
Oh, lets see what else there was. Two SLUTS at the opposite end of the bar. One kept making eye contact with me. Everytime we'd both go outside for a cigarette, I'd try and stike up a convo with her but someone WOULD NOT LEAVE ME ALONE! First time it was a bum. I started telling him I'm broke and started walking away and he asked me for money. I turn to him, put my hood up on my head, and go "it's fucking cold and I don't have health insurance, so this is what I do to avoid getting sick and paying doctors bills." he goes "... so can I have a dollar?" I go "NO!" Another time, this guy starts going off on Italians and I get heated into the convo. One guy was half Italian and half Chinese. Once I was informed of this, I kept calling him Chi-talian. Around this time, TJ and Dennis showed up too, so I kinda veered off to say what's up to them. TJ had a stuffed dog that he won at this new Carnival bar somewhere near Union Square. We ended up talking to two girls outside the bar before even entering. I don't remember how the convo started but I do recall telling the story about how I made a college review guy think I was half black/hispanic to get into the college and it totally worked somehow.
Later on we went inside and TJ handed off the stuffed dog to me. That is when I put it up on my shoulder like a shoulder wrap and evntually put it atop my head and walked around the bar wearing this stuffed dog like a hat. People kept coming up to me and asking what the hell I had on my head, girls were cheersing me their drinks, etc. Eventually TJ grabbed the dog before going over to a table of girls to talk to them as Scott and I sat there laughing at this woman I kept screaming "BIG BIRD!" at. Sweet anola gay! She had this giant, over permed, over bleached buffont. Way too tight jeans that were going up her anus. Oh, and her face? Imagine taking a beat face, putting saran wrap over it, and then blow drying it to ceal it to ones face. Yea, that kinda ugly.
Eventually, TJ and Dennis headed for home and Mike Dani showed up after he changed his mind about meeting us up. The 3 of us just drank and drank and finally I got to talking to one of the sluts from across the bar. First convo didn't go off as planned and blew up in my face. Second one, I learn she was older than me by 3 years and looked hot as shit and not showing any signs of withering away anytime soon. Of course, as soon as I get in good with her, some douchebag she knows comes out and cock blocks me to no end til I get fed up with being a douche right back to him.
Eventually we left and had the fat feast. Me, Scott and Mike went to Papaya Dog. Scott got what I'm gonna have to start refering to as "the usual feast", then he said he was still hungry, and Mike said he refused to let me go anywhere near my car til I ate a little more to sober up. So, Scott threw me a 20 and told me to go grab a pie from Joe's. Scott waited around the corner while I ordered the pie. Right before I left, I shoved a glass salt shaker onto the floor, causing glass shards and salt to go everywhere. The entire staff looked at me, one started yelling. I grinned like an idiot and ran out, box of pizza in hand laughing like an idiot.
The reason Scott does this now when we get Joe's pizza dates back to about 2 years ago around October/November when John came from New Mexico to visit. We went to Joe's to get pizza. The guy serving us was a total dick to Scott and John. John asked for meatballs on his pizza. Scott asked for a plain. John got a plain slice and Scott got a Mozzerella slice. When they asked what the fuck was up, the guy shrugged his shoulders and was like "no special orders." Scott, in a rage, storms out of Joe's, goes to the curb, grabbed a big wet smelly full garbage bag, walks back to the entrance of the store, opens the door, and then proceeded to launch the garbage bag at the employees. I was not aware of the whole situation or how bad it was until Scott, John, Jose and whoever else was out with us all booked it down the street and I sat there, lighting up a cigarette, clueless, until I heard John go "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING STANDING THERE? RUN!"
So yea, that's about it. The ride home consisted of us 2 stuffing pizza in our mouths as we drove down the FDR and 87 to get back home, blasting Lady Gaga and screaming like assholes the entire ride home.
To sum it up nicely, Merideth questioned one of Scott's post on twitter regarding that night that said: "I've had enough pizza and lady gaga to shake a stick at... "
When questioned about this by her, his response was: "It was a regular maelstrom of dude dancing in the car on the ride home." I think it can go without saying she did not reply back to him up until this afternoon once she recieved THAT text.
So yea, Lord only knows what insanity await tonight for Mr Mike DeLisi's birthday party tonight. We're supposed to go bar hopping all the dive bars up and down St Marks street. Knowing me, I'll end up wandering down to Crif Dogs and/or Nino's Pizza... possibly end up storming Jared and Desiree's apartment the block over like I'm the Spanish Inquisition. Who knows.
Oh, and how can I forget, after a sure to be long painful day at work Sunday morning, I am going to catch H2O for their 15th Anniversary show at the Knitting Factory (which apparently moved out to Brooklyn now) for this 250 only admittance, no barricades, show. Shit is gonna be OFF-THE-FUCKING-WALL!
What happened? About 2 or so hours into us sitting around waiting for a tow truck, Scott put it best. "This is like Pee-Wee's Big Adventure where he wakes up and the fortune for the day says "do not go outside," and he just shrugs it off and goes out anyway. Yea. What happened? Well, let's see. The whole day consisted of me taking full advantage of my day off. In reality, all I did was lay there like an animal you find dying on the side of the road and switching it up between watching horrible television and playing Call of Duty.
Eventually, Scott got back to me about wanting to go out cause he got tired of waiting for a response to his plans. Ian also called and said he wanted to hang out. Among trying to figure a plan out with Scott, we came up with "THE WHEEL OF ALCOHOLISM!" Basially it's a like the wheel from the wheel of fortune, but instead of money, it's gonna be bars we always go to. It's gonna be for those nights, like last night, where we can't decide where to go. We ended up deciding to go to the Stumble Inn cause we never been in there since they changed Moe's Carribian into that place and wanted to check it out (also since we haven't been in that neck of the woods in a whiles). But yea, NONE of our plans went into action last night. We got to Ian's, picked him up, hopped on the West Side highway and I passed the exit for 79th street. Scott pointed it out to me, and I said to shut up. I turned around at 56th street and got back on the Westside highway. As I'm coming up to pass the onramp right before the offramp for 79th street, I notice this car is NOT stopping at the stop sign before getting on the highway. No, he did not have any sense of caring that a car going 60+ miles per hour (knowing me, probably closer to mid to high 70s) was barreling down at him. I slammed on the breaks and started honking as my ABS kicked in. Well, it had to work over time cause while skidding to avoid hitting the guy who cut me off, I hit a patch of black ice and KEPT skidding even farther. To add insult to what I thought was inevitable injury was that this MORON started slowing down, meaning I was still flying into him and instead of speeding up like he should have done in the first place if he was gonna jump out in front of me, he slowed down to make it more probable that I'd hit him.
Eventually, I got around this guy and veered off onto the off ramp for 79th street. As I hit the breaks to slow down around the bend, I realized a lack of break pressure and that we were NOT slowing down AT ALL. I calmly say to Scott and Ian, "I have no breaks... I. Have. NO. Breaks. Dude... the breaks aren't working." Scott and Ian kinda look at each othere not thinking it was too serious until I slammed on the parking break and it was not slowing us down in time to not go through the stop sign into traffic. Even worse, the after barreling through that stop sign with Scott, Ian and I now freaking out bad, we realized we were propper fucked when we had to blow through a light where a busy Riverside drive was the cross street, us 3 embracing for impact into a car from one of the 3 directions ahead of us. We ended up going up the hill on 79th street and I pulled the car over after some car almost hit us, honking wildly at us, and threw the car into park as we slowed down going up the hill. The 3 of us just looked at each other, said, "what the fuck?" and then tried to figure out what the hell had happened and how we did not get hit by one oncoming car that entire run the highway to the part of the hill that stopped us (mind you, Manhattan is almost COMPELTELY flat land and the odds of there being a hill are slim to none. I can only imagine how bad of an accident we'd have gotten into had it been a flat straight away after getting off the highway.
Ok, so this is 11pm that this all happened. We all got out of the car and decided to pop the hood to see if there was any break fluid since there was no pressure on the break. There was NONE. I made Scott ask the doorman at the building we were parked in front of if he knew where to get break fluid as I had Ian looking up places on his cell phone to call and see if they had any either. After Scott wandering the local streets and Ian failing at finding a place near by, the two of them hopped a cab to some mechanic up in the high 90s on broadway. Apparently they dealt with the worst salesman ever. They asked the guy for 2 bottles of break fluid just to make sure in case there was a leak we'd have a spare bottle to have. The guy goes "nah... I think you just need one." The two of them replied back with something like "we'd feel safer with two. Just give us two bottles, ok?"
They showed up back at the car, I popped the hood, we poured an entire bottle of break fluid into the car. Noticed it was going down a little. Then, we crawled under the car to see a gyser of break fluid streaming like water from a faucet out of the break line. Around this time, I threw my arms in the air and started yelling anger.
I called my mom for the second time. The first time, I tried explaining to her the whole situation to let her know I may need the roadside assistance info. What that turned into was me yelling at her for not listening to me and hanging the phone up on her (yes ladies, and I'm single too). She called the roadside assistance for me, and then called me back complaining how she can't stand dealing with outsourced companies with people who can barely speak English. What happened next? I get a phone call from the roadside company with the same lady saying she got a call saying that I needed a tow. I swear to God, I wanted to murder this woman for not understanding a word I was saying. I'd talk slow, I'd talk loud... I would be punching the roof of my car followed by thrashing in agony at how ridiculous it was that this woman could not get simple instructions down right. I kept telling her I wanted the car towed to this town outside of manhattan in Westchester County. She thought the town's name was the name of the street and I would go "no, it's in New York, the state." She goes "new york city?" Shit like that, over and over as Ian and Scot laughed at me flipping the fuck out.
What happened next was the most mind numbing waiting game ever. Basically the woman with the horrible accent said the tow truck would be there by 2am. From 12 to Well after 3 when the guy finally rolled up was the 3 of us sitting in the car losing our minds. Eventually, we all lost it and were just laughing at the stupidest things. We had all finally snapped. I wish I recorded some of our antics and nonsense conversations, but whatever.
When the guy showed up, Ian hopped in a cab back to his apartment, and Scott and I had the pleasure of riding with this guy, couldn't be that much older than us, blasting whatever was on the radio, as we shook violently whenever the damn thing would go faster than 50 miles per hour (the dude obviously had a fucked tire or a bent axle and would just ignore it as Scott and I felt like our brains were being violently shooken from our skulls). The best part of the guy taking the car back off the flatbed he had? He forgot there was no breaks and almost plowed into some car he tried parking my car behind. I got out of the truck after filling out all this info for him, and see the car is in the middle of the road, sideways. He goes "oops. Forgot about the breaks til the last minute, had to swerve the car.
The fucking towing fee was over 200 bucks, fuck me.
Ontop of that, Scott and I started walking through two til my mom got the two of us. I didn't get home til around 4:30am and usually when that happens, it means it was a long night out drinking. Not last night obviously.
(Feel free to grab some snacks and drinks)
Thursday night. Oh Thursday night. Scott and I were bored, but didn't know what to do. It turned into deciding to go to Down the Hatch. Reasoning? We wanted to see if the girl with giant cans was working. If not, at least there'd be some loose NYU girls probably slutting it up in there. Scott called Mike Dani, Jose and then texted TJ since him and Dennis were in the city already. Mike and Jose declined. and TJ and Dennis said they'd meet us up later.
We showed up and realized all drinks were 3 dollars all night. Looked at each other and Scott said "guess we're not gonna have to worry about spending too much money anyway." LIE! WE both blew about 60 to 80 bucks each (fucking shot after shot is what got us). Highlights. Two of us are sitting at the bar, drinking and talking. This MESS of a girl just shoves herself right between us and shoves us apart. First she starts talking to Scott. Then to me. I really wish I bashed her even more than I started to. Eh, whatever. While she was talking to Scott, I spit my gum out onto the bar table top. I then placed it on a beer coaster and kept trying to slide it under her arm or hand while Scott kept her distracted by keeping the inane convo going. Eventually, I started taking lemon and lime slices and placing them about her. The bartender saw this and took everything off the table when I left for the bathroom at one point. The best was, I guess around the time I was in the bathroom, one of the bartenders asked Scott if he knew this girl. Scott's reply was a very violent headshaking to imply his answer was a "no". The girl would not go away til I started saying something along the lines of her being a rude disgusting person and between that and Scott's ignoring her, she realized she was not welcome near us.
Oh, lets see what else there was. Two SLUTS at the opposite end of the bar. One kept making eye contact with me. Everytime we'd both go outside for a cigarette, I'd try and stike up a convo with her but someone WOULD NOT LEAVE ME ALONE! First time it was a bum. I started telling him I'm broke and started walking away and he asked me for money. I turn to him, put my hood up on my head, and go "it's fucking cold and I don't have health insurance, so this is what I do to avoid getting sick and paying doctors bills." he goes "... so can I have a dollar?" I go "NO!" Another time, this guy starts going off on Italians and I get heated into the convo. One guy was half Italian and half Chinese. Once I was informed of this, I kept calling him Chi-talian. Around this time, TJ and Dennis showed up too, so I kinda veered off to say what's up to them. TJ had a stuffed dog that he won at this new Carnival bar somewhere near Union Square. We ended up talking to two girls outside the bar before even entering. I don't remember how the convo started but I do recall telling the story about how I made a college review guy think I was half black/hispanic to get into the college and it totally worked somehow.
Later on we went inside and TJ handed off the stuffed dog to me. That is when I put it up on my shoulder like a shoulder wrap and evntually put it atop my head and walked around the bar wearing this stuffed dog like a hat. People kept coming up to me and asking what the hell I had on my head, girls were cheersing me their drinks, etc. Eventually TJ grabbed the dog before going over to a table of girls to talk to them as Scott and I sat there laughing at this woman I kept screaming "BIG BIRD!" at. Sweet anola gay! She had this giant, over permed, over bleached buffont. Way too tight jeans that were going up her anus. Oh, and her face? Imagine taking a beat face, putting saran wrap over it, and then blow drying it to ceal it to ones face. Yea, that kinda ugly.
Eventually, TJ and Dennis headed for home and Mike Dani showed up after he changed his mind about meeting us up. The 3 of us just drank and drank and finally I got to talking to one of the sluts from across the bar. First convo didn't go off as planned and blew up in my face. Second one, I learn she was older than me by 3 years and looked hot as shit and not showing any signs of withering away anytime soon. Of course, as soon as I get in good with her, some douchebag she knows comes out and cock blocks me to no end til I get fed up with being a douche right back to him.
Eventually we left and had the fat feast. Me, Scott and Mike went to Papaya Dog. Scott got what I'm gonna have to start refering to as "the usual feast", then he said he was still hungry, and Mike said he refused to let me go anywhere near my car til I ate a little more to sober up. So, Scott threw me a 20 and told me to go grab a pie from Joe's. Scott waited around the corner while I ordered the pie. Right before I left, I shoved a glass salt shaker onto the floor, causing glass shards and salt to go everywhere. The entire staff looked at me, one started yelling. I grinned like an idiot and ran out, box of pizza in hand laughing like an idiot.
The reason Scott does this now when we get Joe's pizza dates back to about 2 years ago around October/November when John came from New Mexico to visit. We went to Joe's to get pizza. The guy serving us was a total dick to Scott and John. John asked for meatballs on his pizza. Scott asked for a plain. John got a plain slice and Scott got a Mozzerella slice. When they asked what the fuck was up, the guy shrugged his shoulders and was like "no special orders." Scott, in a rage, storms out of Joe's, goes to the curb, grabbed a big wet smelly full garbage bag, walks back to the entrance of the store, opens the door, and then proceeded to launch the garbage bag at the employees. I was not aware of the whole situation or how bad it was until Scott, John, Jose and whoever else was out with us all booked it down the street and I sat there, lighting up a cigarette, clueless, until I heard John go "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING STANDING THERE? RUN!"
So yea, that's about it. The ride home consisted of us 2 stuffing pizza in our mouths as we drove down the FDR and 87 to get back home, blasting Lady Gaga and screaming like assholes the entire ride home.
To sum it up nicely, Merideth questioned one of Scott's post on twitter regarding that night that said: "I've had enough pizza and lady gaga to shake a stick at... "
When questioned about this by her, his response was: "It was a regular maelstrom of dude dancing in the car on the ride home." I think it can go without saying she did not reply back to him up until this afternoon once she recieved THAT text.
So yea, Lord only knows what insanity await tonight for Mr Mike DeLisi's birthday party tonight. We're supposed to go bar hopping all the dive bars up and down St Marks street. Knowing me, I'll end up wandering down to Crif Dogs and/or Nino's Pizza... possibly end up storming Jared and Desiree's apartment the block over like I'm the Spanish Inquisition. Who knows.
Oh, and how can I forget, after a sure to be long painful day at work Sunday morning, I am going to catch H2O for their 15th Anniversary show at the Knitting Factory (which apparently moved out to Brooklyn now) for this 250 only admittance, no barricades, show. Shit is gonna be OFF-THE-FUCKING-WALL!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Great Moments in Ramy History
Once in a while, I come up with some great lies to tell people. Last night's was one of them. How awesome was it? I basically ruined some date going on that consisted of a couple who met on Match.com. Haaaaa!
We were at that fucking hotel in Union Square, um... I forget the name of the hotel, but the bar in it is called "Under Bar" and the hotel is located on the corner of 17th and Park Ave South. Not my cup of tea for drinking there, but we went there cause the bar Dennis wanted to go to had a 10 minute wait and I am not one to wait on lines. I think the funniest part was, Romil gave me his nice gloves and I kept yelling how I am not wearing dead animals on my hands to get into a club, to make a scene. Ontop of that, it was fucking hilarious that Dennis and Romil were so drunk that they thought putting nice gloves on me was gonna negate the fact I was wearing my dirty old jacket, combat pants, and a Samhain hoodie under the jacket. Oh, and I was wearing my dirty-ass Vans (which reminds me, time to buy some new every day sneakers).
ANYWAY, I digressed the fuck out of this story already.
So, we get to Under Bar, i am yelling that I don't wanna be there and just wanna go back to Union Bar (seriously, over crowded hotel bar vs bar with hot bartenders who give us discounted to free drinks? There should be no question as to who wins that fight. It's like tying a child to a pole and pummeling him with blunt objects and calling it fair fight). But yea, Dennis and Romil were not giving in to my arguments (more like whiney bitching) that we should go back to Union Bar and that it was stupid to have left that bar. After the first bout of yells, I tell Dennis to get me a drink. Around this time, one couple sees me and the girl is like "what are you yelling about? How can you yell at your friend like that?" I go him... he's um... my publicist... and a bad one at that!" I then go off on how my imaginary book has been delayed repeatedly, my advertising deals with companies falted, etc etc. Suddenly, the girl seemed more interested in me than her date it seemed. The guy, at one point, tried calling my bluff by asking if I'm a writer, what books have I had published. Quick thinking lead to me saying something like "Oh, well, I have published many short pieces in various publications across Manhattan, but this book is to be my first full-on book." I just know he was saying touché in his head. At one point, I grabbed Dennis to the side, and said "you're my fucking publicist. I have a book coming out. If you talk to them, tell them some cockamaimy story about how this fake book is being postponed over and over again and I'm gonna say it's all your falt and so on and so forth." He's like "I like where this is going, this is a good one. Why haven't we used this yet to pick up women?" I'm like "we're doing it now, you're on. It's publicist mode now for you."
Later on, the girl stepped away from the guy she was with, grabbed me to come closer to her, asked me if I smoked, and then when I said yes, dragged me outside and starts telling me about how she's on a second date with this guy. She can't stand him. How he is beyond lame, and all he has going for him is he dresses well (earlier in the conversation with the couple I said something about how I prefer to dress like a vagabond than dress nice and my "publicist" was complaining about the way I dressed).
After making a scene in the bathroom and running out before staff and hotel guests alike came after me with pitchfork and torch, I ran to Romil who told me we were gonna leave and try to get back into this other bar Dennis wanted to go to. The girl asked me who Romil was. I told her "uh, my lawyer. We need to talk over business so I invited him out." AS I was leaving, and saying goodbye, I told them I was scheduled to make another appearance at a bar down the street.
Getting into THAT bar included Dennis and Romil trying to convince me wearing Romil's gloves is what was going to get me into the bar. Yes, giant padded leather gloves are like the golden ticket to Willy Wonka's Factory. You know what got me in? Me being a wiseass and saying some stupid shit that I was already in the bar and came out for a smoke.
Thinking back, while I was on this roll of rolls, I should have came up with a good name. Scott and I are good at coming up with stupid names (if you haven't been able to tell by the past blogs with fake names we give to girls or for sign up sheets and such at bars, we also like to list fake, funny names when really bored, to remember for later).
Now, if you'll excuse me. I have been feeling nauseous all morning and am waiting for everyone to leave the office so I can puke my brains out in peace. With all this nausea lately, I'm starting to think I'm pregnant. ugh, and I already puked in my mouth once today. It's not gonna be pretty once these people get out of here finally.
We were at that fucking hotel in Union Square, um... I forget the name of the hotel, but the bar in it is called "Under Bar" and the hotel is located on the corner of 17th and Park Ave South. Not my cup of tea for drinking there, but we went there cause the bar Dennis wanted to go to had a 10 minute wait and I am not one to wait on lines. I think the funniest part was, Romil gave me his nice gloves and I kept yelling how I am not wearing dead animals on my hands to get into a club, to make a scene. Ontop of that, it was fucking hilarious that Dennis and Romil were so drunk that they thought putting nice gloves on me was gonna negate the fact I was wearing my dirty old jacket, combat pants, and a Samhain hoodie under the jacket. Oh, and I was wearing my dirty-ass Vans (which reminds me, time to buy some new every day sneakers).
ANYWAY, I digressed the fuck out of this story already.
So, we get to Under Bar, i am yelling that I don't wanna be there and just wanna go back to Union Bar (seriously, over crowded hotel bar vs bar with hot bartenders who give us discounted to free drinks? There should be no question as to who wins that fight. It's like tying a child to a pole and pummeling him with blunt objects and calling it fair fight). But yea, Dennis and Romil were not giving in to my arguments (more like whiney bitching) that we should go back to Union Bar and that it was stupid to have left that bar. After the first bout of yells, I tell Dennis to get me a drink. Around this time, one couple sees me and the girl is like "what are you yelling about? How can you yell at your friend like that?" I go him... he's um... my publicist... and a bad one at that!" I then go off on how my imaginary book has been delayed repeatedly, my advertising deals with companies falted, etc etc. Suddenly, the girl seemed more interested in me than her date it seemed. The guy, at one point, tried calling my bluff by asking if I'm a writer, what books have I had published. Quick thinking lead to me saying something like "Oh, well, I have published many short pieces in various publications across Manhattan, but this book is to be my first full-on book." I just know he was saying touché in his head. At one point, I grabbed Dennis to the side, and said "you're my fucking publicist. I have a book coming out. If you talk to them, tell them some cockamaimy story about how this fake book is being postponed over and over again and I'm gonna say it's all your falt and so on and so forth." He's like "I like where this is going, this is a good one. Why haven't we used this yet to pick up women?" I'm like "we're doing it now, you're on. It's publicist mode now for you."
Later on, the girl stepped away from the guy she was with, grabbed me to come closer to her, asked me if I smoked, and then when I said yes, dragged me outside and starts telling me about how she's on a second date with this guy. She can't stand him. How he is beyond lame, and all he has going for him is he dresses well (earlier in the conversation with the couple I said something about how I prefer to dress like a vagabond than dress nice and my "publicist" was complaining about the way I dressed).
After making a scene in the bathroom and running out before staff and hotel guests alike came after me with pitchfork and torch, I ran to Romil who told me we were gonna leave and try to get back into this other bar Dennis wanted to go to. The girl asked me who Romil was. I told her "uh, my lawyer. We need to talk over business so I invited him out." AS I was leaving, and saying goodbye, I told them I was scheduled to make another appearance at a bar down the street.
Getting into THAT bar included Dennis and Romil trying to convince me wearing Romil's gloves is what was going to get me into the bar. Yes, giant padded leather gloves are like the golden ticket to Willy Wonka's Factory. You know what got me in? Me being a wiseass and saying some stupid shit that I was already in the bar and came out for a smoke.
Thinking back, while I was on this roll of rolls, I should have came up with a good name. Scott and I are good at coming up with stupid names (if you haven't been able to tell by the past blogs with fake names we give to girls or for sign up sheets and such at bars, we also like to list fake, funny names when really bored, to remember for later).
Now, if you'll excuse me. I have been feeling nauseous all morning and am waiting for everyone to leave the office so I can puke my brains out in peace. With all this nausea lately, I'm starting to think I'm pregnant. ugh, and I already puked in my mouth once today. It's not gonna be pretty once these people get out of here finally.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Monday Dollar Beers
I haven't gotten that hungover as I was this morning in YEARS. It was one of those ones where you lay there in pain, you want nothing more than the cool side of the pillow and bed, but you can't find it, you want some kind of cold drink but the cup that's usually filled with water sitting next to your bed for just such occasions is beyond dry. You want nothing more than for this hangover to go away. Yea. I wished nothing but death's sweet embrace to make this thing go away.
Close to 9 o'clock last night, Scott came by and picked me up to go to the city for Janell's birthday. the entire ride down to the city, Eddie kept texting me to hurry my ass and get the going to meet em up. Scott and I agreed we'd see how bad we were feeling (both of us were pretty fucked up from Sunday night and were not feeling too hot) and then take it from there. Our plan was to leave and go home... then I mentioned we'd obviously need to make a stop off at Down the Hatch and see if the bartender with the enormous rack was working, THEN we'd see if we wanted to go home or not.
But yea, last night was quite the fucking cluster fuck of What the Fucks and how the's?
I dunno where to even start. I guess I'll start with the night beginning with Scott, Dave and I telling each other funny stories while trying to see if there was any hot girls in the bar (which there really wasn't ANYONE in the bar at that point, yet). Scott and Dave played a game of beer pong against Eddie and some other friend of his I never remember the name of (mainly cause the only interaction I've had with this kid is him laughing at my stupid antics). Anyway, around a few shots in of the game, this gestapo of a woman comes marching over with this shirt that looked like it was straight out of women's fashion circa 1980. You know, those blazers women would wear that were like a man's suit jacket, but spiffyfied to look feminine? Yea, THAT is basically what she had on. Kinda fit in with her giant, man-ish, attitude and look. Anyway, she comes over asking who is playing the next game. No one was really answering her. She was talking some pretty big game and it was fucking pathetic. Dave kept saying some shit to her and she was like "what's his name?" I go "who, Dave?" She goes "you're lying." I go, sure, ask him his name. So, she does. He replied back with saying his name was something like "Gerald" or something and we laughed at her as she goes to Scott and asks him the same question. He goes "Al, Al Dente." Oh my God, we laughed and laughed and she was like "Yea? well, we're gonna kick your fucking asses." Dave sinks a cup and goes "like that?" and then Scott followed up and sunk a cup and Dave goes "or, like that?" She said something like "yea... well, you suck and we're gonna win," and walked the fuck off cause she obviously got shut the fuck up, big time. And, I was just informed via text message from Scott that this girl was our age and was acting like she was some dumb 18 year old. Fucking wonderful.
This is the text I just got from Scott regarding his match against the man-girl and one of her blonde friends:
"Yea, we were playing them. I was cursing them out and making fun of them cause the blonde was being annoying and refusing to believe that we weren't playing the bounce rule. Then she wouldn't shut up about us being sore losers because of it and I started throwing the ball at her chest at 30mph."
After a while of this tall big bird looking blond girl hovering over me as I watched the game go down, I walked over to Janell and Lauren who were sitting at the bar and just chit-chatting. Around this time, I kept pounding down vodka-code blues that the bar has. Code Blue is like this "all natural" replenishment drink that is basically nothing but electrolytes and tastes like blue Powerade, which as you know, is nothing but food dye and shitty tasting Gatorade. i drank about 4 or 5 of them and that shit didn't help me this morning AT ALL, but, whatever. After a while I go outside and have a smoke and I see this blond girl and said something to her thinking she was this other blonde girl inside that was friends with the immature man-girl. Then I realized that it wasn't and we started talking outside, til her tall friend and the tall friend's boyfriend came and dragged her away from me.
I went back inside to order a drink and the girl came up behind me and kept poking me in the back with her elbow to get me to turn around. She ordered drinks like a fucking champ too. Not only that, but later on when Scott saw her, he goes "that is like the hottest girl I've seen in a while." Why in the fuck she was talking to me? I have no clue, but we'd have conversations throughout the night, and I'd think I kept blowing it, but she'd come back. Damn I was smooth last night. I also remember the semi-hot waitress talking with me a few times last night. I was on some kinda streak of awesomeness with the ladies and I don't even know how. It must've been they all heard me telling hilarious stories of buying toys and other childish shit in this day and age.
Another time I went outside this old thugish looking guy comes up to me and asks for a cigarette. Now, when I say thugish, I mean like he looks like he has a bunch of old prison tattoos and belongs/belonged to a biker gang. Voice like a ash tray. He and I were talking about bullshit with this girl outside and I was like "i'm gonna go off and leave you two alone. Then the guy asks me if I could buy him a beer. Guy had NO money. I'd keep walking away and he'd go and find me and ask for money. I was like "DUDE, it's DOLLAR beer night." At one point, he grabbed me out of my seat and dragged me into the bathroom. Eddie, Scott, Janell and Lauren all had this look on their faces of fear. I go "Yea, what the hell do you want?" He goes "dude, ya gotta lend me 5 bucks so I can close this deal with this girl." I throw 3 bucks at him and go "dude, this is all I have left. Take it and go." He didn't bug me the rest of the night but everyone else I was with was afraid this guy was gonna shank me or something in the bathroom. You gotta know though, when someone has a shitty tattoo on their face of a faded outline of a tear drop, they more than likely did get that for killing someone in prison, or at least fucked someone up big time, and I didn't wanna deal with that shit.
We stayed at the bar getting all kinds of retarded til it closed at 4am. After that, we all left together but Scott and I split from Eddie, Janell and Lauren when we decided to branch off and get pizza at Ben's on the corner of the block. First of all, this fucking disgusting flock of people swarmed in the place, being all loud and obnoxious. They took ALL the condiments and just brought it over to their table. This guy and I both went up to the table and were like "hey, um.. yea. How about you don't take all the condiments so other people can use em too?" Scott and I then sat in the corner of this place, eating and just muttering how disgusting these people were and that they were fucking animals, and how they should be taken out by a gun shot to the back of their heads.
We then took turns pissing all over this gate to an alleyway on the street Scott parked on, cursing out some bum to get away from us, and then driving home blasting some of the most flamboyant music ever, singing like jackasses the entire ride home.
Close to 9 o'clock last night, Scott came by and picked me up to go to the city for Janell's birthday. the entire ride down to the city, Eddie kept texting me to hurry my ass and get the going to meet em up. Scott and I agreed we'd see how bad we were feeling (both of us were pretty fucked up from Sunday night and were not feeling too hot) and then take it from there. Our plan was to leave and go home... then I mentioned we'd obviously need to make a stop off at Down the Hatch and see if the bartender with the enormous rack was working, THEN we'd see if we wanted to go home or not.
But yea, last night was quite the fucking cluster fuck of What the Fucks and how the's?
I dunno where to even start. I guess I'll start with the night beginning with Scott, Dave and I telling each other funny stories while trying to see if there was any hot girls in the bar (which there really wasn't ANYONE in the bar at that point, yet). Scott and Dave played a game of beer pong against Eddie and some other friend of his I never remember the name of (mainly cause the only interaction I've had with this kid is him laughing at my stupid antics). Anyway, around a few shots in of the game, this gestapo of a woman comes marching over with this shirt that looked like it was straight out of women's fashion circa 1980. You know, those blazers women would wear that were like a man's suit jacket, but spiffyfied to look feminine? Yea, THAT is basically what she had on. Kinda fit in with her giant, man-ish, attitude and look. Anyway, she comes over asking who is playing the next game. No one was really answering her. She was talking some pretty big game and it was fucking pathetic. Dave kept saying some shit to her and she was like "what's his name?" I go "who, Dave?" She goes "you're lying." I go, sure, ask him his name. So, she does. He replied back with saying his name was something like "Gerald" or something and we laughed at her as she goes to Scott and asks him the same question. He goes "Al, Al Dente." Oh my God, we laughed and laughed and she was like "Yea? well, we're gonna kick your fucking asses." Dave sinks a cup and goes "like that?" and then Scott followed up and sunk a cup and Dave goes "or, like that?" She said something like "yea... well, you suck and we're gonna win," and walked the fuck off cause she obviously got shut the fuck up, big time. And, I was just informed via text message from Scott that this girl was our age and was acting like she was some dumb 18 year old. Fucking wonderful.
This is the text I just got from Scott regarding his match against the man-girl and one of her blonde friends:
"Yea, we were playing them. I was cursing them out and making fun of them cause the blonde was being annoying and refusing to believe that we weren't playing the bounce rule. Then she wouldn't shut up about us being sore losers because of it and I started throwing the ball at her chest at 30mph."
After a while of this tall big bird looking blond girl hovering over me as I watched the game go down, I walked over to Janell and Lauren who were sitting at the bar and just chit-chatting. Around this time, I kept pounding down vodka-code blues that the bar has. Code Blue is like this "all natural" replenishment drink that is basically nothing but electrolytes and tastes like blue Powerade, which as you know, is nothing but food dye and shitty tasting Gatorade. i drank about 4 or 5 of them and that shit didn't help me this morning AT ALL, but, whatever. After a while I go outside and have a smoke and I see this blond girl and said something to her thinking she was this other blonde girl inside that was friends with the immature man-girl. Then I realized that it wasn't and we started talking outside, til her tall friend and the tall friend's boyfriend came and dragged her away from me.
I went back inside to order a drink and the girl came up behind me and kept poking me in the back with her elbow to get me to turn around. She ordered drinks like a fucking champ too. Not only that, but later on when Scott saw her, he goes "that is like the hottest girl I've seen in a while." Why in the fuck she was talking to me? I have no clue, but we'd have conversations throughout the night, and I'd think I kept blowing it, but she'd come back. Damn I was smooth last night. I also remember the semi-hot waitress talking with me a few times last night. I was on some kinda streak of awesomeness with the ladies and I don't even know how. It must've been they all heard me telling hilarious stories of buying toys and other childish shit in this day and age.
Another time I went outside this old thugish looking guy comes up to me and asks for a cigarette. Now, when I say thugish, I mean like he looks like he has a bunch of old prison tattoos and belongs/belonged to a biker gang. Voice like a ash tray. He and I were talking about bullshit with this girl outside and I was like "i'm gonna go off and leave you two alone. Then the guy asks me if I could buy him a beer. Guy had NO money. I'd keep walking away and he'd go and find me and ask for money. I was like "DUDE, it's DOLLAR beer night." At one point, he grabbed me out of my seat and dragged me into the bathroom. Eddie, Scott, Janell and Lauren all had this look on their faces of fear. I go "Yea, what the hell do you want?" He goes "dude, ya gotta lend me 5 bucks so I can close this deal with this girl." I throw 3 bucks at him and go "dude, this is all I have left. Take it and go." He didn't bug me the rest of the night but everyone else I was with was afraid this guy was gonna shank me or something in the bathroom. You gotta know though, when someone has a shitty tattoo on their face of a faded outline of a tear drop, they more than likely did get that for killing someone in prison, or at least fucked someone up big time, and I didn't wanna deal with that shit.
We stayed at the bar getting all kinds of retarded til it closed at 4am. After that, we all left together but Scott and I split from Eddie, Janell and Lauren when we decided to branch off and get pizza at Ben's on the corner of the block. First of all, this fucking disgusting flock of people swarmed in the place, being all loud and obnoxious. They took ALL the condiments and just brought it over to their table. This guy and I both went up to the table and were like "hey, um.. yea. How about you don't take all the condiments so other people can use em too?" Scott and I then sat in the corner of this place, eating and just muttering how disgusting these people were and that they were fucking animals, and how they should be taken out by a gun shot to the back of their heads.
We then took turns pissing all over this gate to an alleyway on the street Scott parked on, cursing out some bum to get away from us, and then driving home blasting some of the most flamboyant music ever, singing like jackasses the entire ride home.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Pooper Bowl
Jesus. Things not to do. Drink about 5+ shots of Jager after taking a bottle of vodka down like a champ. Oh, and Cash and JV introduced me to something that I imagine would've gotten me pant-shitting drunk if I had more than the few sips I took of it. What is it? a little something called Patron and Mountain Dew. It is surprisingly not bad, and this is coming from someone who treats tequila like it's the holy water to my vampire.
I was supposed to wake up at 6:30 this morning... obviously that did not happen. 2 alarms and a slew of texts going off and I did NOT wake up. I went to my advertising class I'm taking. Showed up right on time... and that was because the one parking spot left in all of Harlem was a no parking on Mondays between the hours the class was. Fucking 45 dollar ticket receiving joy!
Do you know an hour of advertising class was for me today? Trying not to puke and repeatedly just turning it into the Ramy comedy hour special/the how long can I try and not puke marathon. I am starting to think the teacher doesn't like my adverse advertising approach to the class. Things like "hey fucker, lets get fucking drunk" as a Budwiser commercial idea.
The night before was horrendous. It started with me, Mike and Scott headed to the city in my mom's car that I borrowed.As we're about to go past the Yonkers toll, I get a call from TJ. I told Mike to answer it. Apparently I as supposed to pick him up and I was too tired to realize this. The drive there was bad. I was just zoning out and not paying any attention. We almost crashed cutting around some guy cause instead of slowing down, I decided to gun it and take the off ramp extremely hard and fast. All you heard was tires screeching almost the entire bend of the off-ramp.
Then, I don't listen to where we're going. First, if I wasn't told right before the exit on the FDR, we would've missed it. Then, I park on 52nd and 2nd. Where did we have to go? 56th between 5th and 6th. We walked that in the freezing cold. We met up Dan, Romil and Mike Dani (fuck, I guess I'll just refer to the 2 Mikes by their last names, since unlike me, they don't have awesome nicknames to be called by... yes, my real name is Mike, deal with it).
Anyway, so we went to this place and kept ordering rounds. I was doing shots of Jager and chasing em with vodka sodas. (now that I think of it, doing that shit for 2 nights in a row is probably why my kidney is killing me). Anyway, we hung out there for a while then, when Meredith met us up, we split up into 2 cabs to head to another bar. I don't have any recollection of where this bar was or what it's name was. Oh wait, I'm a fucking idiot. It was in Murray Hill, right next to 515 I think?
I dunno. We got pretty blitzed. We stayed there til closing time. I left and got pizza with TJ. Mike went off somewhere, and so did Dan. Apparently I was supposed to drive Dan home? I didn't know he called me til I got home and saw I had all these missed calls and texts from him. I fucking hate not having my phone on a clip. I never feel it vibrating in my pocket. Then again, not like I ever answer my phone unless I'm home and bored outta my mind... and not sleeping.
But yea, I left Scott and Meredith in the city cause I was tired of waiting for them as me and TJ just sat next to my mom's car chain smoking and complaining about how bitterly cold it was.
And, what am I doing today? It's Janell's birthday, so in true Eddie and Janell fashion, they wanna go to Off the Wagon for their dollar beer special. Scott and I are gonna go and it's gonna be redonky (that's ridiculous for those of you that don't speak Ramy Retard). I basically I say this cause Scott is driving and I'm just gonna get extra sloppy.
Ugh, I've got to shave today... maybe. Ok, yea. My face is fucking itchy as fuck right now.
Also, as a PSA, I must say that everyone has got to listen to more Gorilla Biscuits. One of THE best New York hardcore bands.I've been listening to nothing but Start Today and this bootleg called "Walter Sings the Hits" which is basically the band, sans Civ, playing Start Today, live in a rehearsal room and with Walter singing instead of Civ (ok, so the title track "Start Today" is an instrumental on this bootleg and they didn't do First Failure or Sitting Around At Home). BUT, there's more on it too. It also has the Moondog 7". Who is Moondog, you ask? It's the band Walter Schreifels was in after Gorilla Biscuits which basically went no where but Walter basically turned it into a band you may know, Quicksand. One of the best post-hardcore bands in my opinion. Then, on top of THAT there's 2 live 7" bootlegs on there and it ends with some demos from 86 and 87, but they suck cause it sounds like a skipping cd or more likely, was a cassette tape getting stuck in the tape deck as it was being transferred to CD. I don't really care cause those demos had no life to them like the official albums have. That, and I have the 86 demos already, so I don't care.
So yea, if you're a GB fan, you should MOST DEFINITELY download it... if you're too lazy, just ask me and I'll email it to you or something.
I was supposed to wake up at 6:30 this morning... obviously that did not happen. 2 alarms and a slew of texts going off and I did NOT wake up. I went to my advertising class I'm taking. Showed up right on time... and that was because the one parking spot left in all of Harlem was a no parking on Mondays between the hours the class was. Fucking 45 dollar ticket receiving joy!
Do you know an hour of advertising class was for me today? Trying not to puke and repeatedly just turning it into the Ramy comedy hour special/the how long can I try and not puke marathon. I am starting to think the teacher doesn't like my adverse advertising approach to the class. Things like "hey fucker, lets get fucking drunk" as a Budwiser commercial idea.
The night before was horrendous. It started with me, Mike and Scott headed to the city in my mom's car that I borrowed.As we're about to go past the Yonkers toll, I get a call from TJ. I told Mike to answer it. Apparently I as supposed to pick him up and I was too tired to realize this. The drive there was bad. I was just zoning out and not paying any attention. We almost crashed cutting around some guy cause instead of slowing down, I decided to gun it and take the off ramp extremely hard and fast. All you heard was tires screeching almost the entire bend of the off-ramp.
Then, I don't listen to where we're going. First, if I wasn't told right before the exit on the FDR, we would've missed it. Then, I park on 52nd and 2nd. Where did we have to go? 56th between 5th and 6th. We walked that in the freezing cold. We met up Dan, Romil and Mike Dani (fuck, I guess I'll just refer to the 2 Mikes by their last names, since unlike me, they don't have awesome nicknames to be called by... yes, my real name is Mike, deal with it).
Anyway, so we went to this place and kept ordering rounds. I was doing shots of Jager and chasing em with vodka sodas. (now that I think of it, doing that shit for 2 nights in a row is probably why my kidney is killing me). Anyway, we hung out there for a while then, when Meredith met us up, we split up into 2 cabs to head to another bar. I don't have any recollection of where this bar was or what it's name was. Oh wait, I'm a fucking idiot. It was in Murray Hill, right next to 515 I think?
I dunno. We got pretty blitzed. We stayed there til closing time. I left and got pizza with TJ. Mike went off somewhere, and so did Dan. Apparently I was supposed to drive Dan home? I didn't know he called me til I got home and saw I had all these missed calls and texts from him. I fucking hate not having my phone on a clip. I never feel it vibrating in my pocket. Then again, not like I ever answer my phone unless I'm home and bored outta my mind... and not sleeping.
But yea, I left Scott and Meredith in the city cause I was tired of waiting for them as me and TJ just sat next to my mom's car chain smoking and complaining about how bitterly cold it was.
And, what am I doing today? It's Janell's birthday, so in true Eddie and Janell fashion, they wanna go to Off the Wagon for their dollar beer special. Scott and I are gonna go and it's gonna be redonky (that's ridiculous for those of you that don't speak Ramy Retard). I basically I say this cause Scott is driving and I'm just gonna get extra sloppy.
Ugh, I've got to shave today... maybe. Ok, yea. My face is fucking itchy as fuck right now.
Also, as a PSA, I must say that everyone has got to listen to more Gorilla Biscuits. One of THE best New York hardcore bands.I've been listening to nothing but Start Today and this bootleg called "Walter Sings the Hits" which is basically the band, sans Civ, playing Start Today, live in a rehearsal room and with Walter singing instead of Civ (ok, so the title track "Start Today" is an instrumental on this bootleg and they didn't do First Failure or Sitting Around At Home). BUT, there's more on it too. It also has the Moondog 7". Who is Moondog, you ask? It's the band Walter Schreifels was in after Gorilla Biscuits which basically went no where but Walter basically turned it into a band you may know, Quicksand. One of the best post-hardcore bands in my opinion. Then, on top of THAT there's 2 live 7" bootlegs on there and it ends with some demos from 86 and 87, but they suck cause it sounds like a skipping cd or more likely, was a cassette tape getting stuck in the tape deck as it was being transferred to CD. I don't really care cause those demos had no life to them like the official albums have. That, and I have the 86 demos already, so I don't care.
So yea, if you're a GB fan, you should MOST DEFINITELY download it... if you're too lazy, just ask me and I'll email it to you or something.
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