I Will Bring Down The Ugly in the World

I have come to the conclusion that if I do not DESTROY the cast of Jersey Shore I have to kill myself. It's that simple.

Yes, I am fucking serious.

One of these fucking Mongoloids, Pauly D or some shti like that, was "DJ-ing" at Sutton Place. Guess who wanted to go to Sutton Place tonight and drove past the bar looking for a parking spot to see a line down the fucking block? THIS GUY! (guess who also got woken up to "lets go out" and then when a stones throw from the FDR gets told "oops, I forgot my wallet" This luckiest son of a bitch in the world typing these words.

Yea, OH! Did I mention how angry I was before I even stepped foot of the bar I ended up going to instead? Yea, I mean, besides seeing the long ass line to the bar I WANTED to go to and was told some piece of shit was using his ipod to play HORRENDOUS fucking music into a PA system? I tried getting a parking spot, but this cab kept creeping up my ass and honking at me to move up so he could squeeze through the street (cause you know, GOD FORBID someone has the paitence to let someone park their car or the know how to pass around said car). So, after I let this guy go around me, a car pulled into the spot as I was backing up towards it. Then, by some retard luck, I pulled around the corner and saw someone pulling out of their spot. As I was waiting, I saw someone start waiting behind me with some kinda intent to perform a coup attack to get the spot from me. What did this turn into? Me cursing like a sailor about how I am gonna smash their massive fucking nose into their skull by curb stomping them, all while parallel parking. They drove off and I kept cursing at them til they were far from my angry yelling range.

I showed up to Opal with Scott and Mike Dani to see Romil and Ian were hanging at the bar, since Scott told them we were coming into the city and Ian was already in th area and Romil just got back from a date. Maybe 2 seconds later, Loki and Mary showed up cause Scott told them as well to meet us up there.

We started off taking shots of Jager in honor of the bar being over flowing with the scum of the earth that couldn't get into Sutton Place to see that fucking orange skinned mongoloid ruin their ear drums with shit and cerebral paulsy bellowings into the mic. GOD! I wanted to go into that bar just to spit in his fucking face cause i was so annoyed with all these people coming into a fine establisment like Opal and sullying it with their over gelled hair and OH MY GOD, this one girl had a bleached "poof" so fucking big I kept calling her Bart Simpson. most of the night was me being a giant asshole to people I didn't know (what else is fucking new?)

I think the only time I had a good time was when the DJ at Opal put Tik Tok on by Kesha as I was walking back into the bar from having a cigarette and I just got up in everyone's face dancing like a complete asshole and I was making these 2 random hot girls fucking tear from laughing so hard at my antics. Then, Lady Gaga came on and I started up again dancing around and getting in people's faces and shaking my ass at them like I was a dumb bimbo. This lead to this almost plain girl coming up to me and talking to me.

I think the truely bad downfall of my already in the gutters evening was when I went to the back bar of Opal. First of all, I never go back there because it's like a danceateria for the mentally challenged. But yea, Romil, Mike and Scott disappeared into the back so Ian and his brother who met us up later on were like "let's go back there." First of all, the bartender took my order, walked away and started flirting with some triolobite of a human being for a while and as I started to get agitated, Neil (aka Ian's brother) went across the bar and basically said "are you gonna serve us or what?" So yea, i get my drink and head in the back to see Mike and Scott are talking to these fucking HAGS in their late 30s/early 40s and I am told not to say anything by Romil. I was told to let them do their thing. FINE, whatever. Then the blond psudo-plain girl comes up to me and grabs me by the hand and drags me off to the side. This ended quickly cause some other MONGO came up to me and I told him with the Diso light effects, he looks like R2D2 busted a nut all over his face and he was apparently trying to get with this girl too and shoved me away and I had to calm myself from throwing a left hook all up in his grill. So, I walk back to where everyone else was and the fucking piece of shit Scott was talking to gave me a dirty look, said something to me and walked away like she was better than me. I WENT OFF! Oh my God, I have never perpetuated the beating of women (ok, maybe in joking) but LORD! I wanted to grab this girl... excuse me, grandma, in the back of the head and smash her fucking botched plastic surgery face right into the fucking repeatedly wall til her teeth fell out. Romil had to grab me and drag me out of the bar. This turned into the "you have to let go of your anger, you cant keep doing this, it's gonna consume you," speech (here's a hint, I am the epitomy of every speech the Emperor gave in the original Star Wars series about hate and anger by this point in my life).

I got fed up, and wanted to leave to another bar. Ian, Neil and Mike Dani decide to go to Turtle Bay. If you know me, I am not fond of that place, but will go in as a last resort. First of all, every bouncer thought I was already dealt with by them cause you know, every fucking Italian in the tri-state area showed up to this part of town and I guess we all look alike? I dunno. I get in there and who could be DJing in there? The worlds worst DJ. If you don't know, I've been pulled away from the DJ booth at that place for telling the DJ he is ruining people's lives with his beyond reproach taste in music and the fact he will play that siren sound effect every Dj plays, but he will play it over something like "all the Small Things" by Blink-182... which who in their right mind plays at a bar? Outside the bar I talked to some girl, but as usual, some fucing piece of shit swooped in and had to cock block me which seemed to be my problem whenever I talked to a girl last night... I think my anger may be stemming from the fact girls would show interest in me and then every single one changed their minds and talked to the more in shape guy with the cleaner cut look and doesn't have the tan of someone who has been hiding in a cave their entire lives. Oh, and how can I forget the hot girl that starts talking to me, and then kinda pushes me off to her less attractive friend? Yea, that was fun. Thanks, you skanky bitch.

i was in such a bad mood at this point that, while on the line for the bathroom, i picked one guy out in the line and began just relentlessly making fun of him. I started with his hair. Then when I got to his Ed Hardy hoodie, I just let fucking loose. "Do you use your love of tigers and dragons on elaborate designs as a pick up line for other men?" "How many times a week do you fantasize about sucking off Christian Audigier?" "How does Ed Hardy water taste? Does it give you the vitamins you need to keep that look of someone having shit on your head?" (ok, I can't remember the hate I was spewing from my mouth at this time cause I was just hoping he'd swing at me so I could dessimate him, but it never happened). We ended up leaving, everyone but me getting pizza, and then I had to drive Ian and his brother back to Inwood and Mike back to Pelham, where I am amazed how I found his house on the ride there (I've only been there once before last night) and then the JOY of not finding my way back home.

So yea, I got home at like 6am to have to wake up and be at work at 9:30. What did I do? Showed up an hour late to work, cursed out co-workers. left early to go to the cafe across the street, hit on the girl with the big ass and busted face that works there, came back to the office to eat my sandwich, made fun of an employee, and have been sitting here deciding if I wanna meet up Loki after work to get drunk and watch football with the possibility of lashing out at more people I don't know to vent my anger that has carried over from last night into today.

So, you know that saying that one action can affect something on the other side of the world? Well, the action of Sutton Place hiring that mongo from Jersey Shore steam rolled, not across the Earth, but down the block, to me, wanting to perform some kinda killing spree/suicide attempt. (seriously, it disgusts me that people like that in the world get praised instead of booed until everyone's thraot is sore or stoned to death, biblical style)

... and for some reason for the past two days I've been waking up thinking of Carlos Nobrega's death. I dunno why. 2 days ago I woke up thinking of his lip tattoo he had and this morning I had a memory of getting the phone call from Al when he called to tell me that he died in a car accident and I had to pick Al up from the airport when he flew in for the funeral. Now I can't stop listening to Minutes to Midnight which I associate with this poor kid's death cause it came out the day that Carlos died and that's basically all me and Al listened to the entire time Al was back in NY for the wake, funeral and nights sitting in those Tarrytown bars just sulking that his best friend died.